A Portrait of the Artist as a… ?

First, I can’t take a picture of myself with my phone backwards.  That’s for damn sure.  Second, I took like fifty shots and each photo made me look worse than the previous photo – you can barely see my hair in this one but at least I look human – as opposed to a freaky dried up mummy hag.  This is not good for my fragile ego.  And I have a chicken neck.  And quite possibly a giant nose, either that or I’m wearing Groucho Marx glasses and left off the glasses part.

Sorry.  I tried taking a picture in bright sunlight so you could see the haircut, but I turned to sparkly vampire dust, in the car while waiting in line at the car wash, but I ended up  with zebra stripes across my face, in the kitchen but all you could make out was my nose.  I’d let my husband take a photo but he’s way worse than me, even when I’m holding the phone backwards and can’t see what the hell I’m shooting.  When he takes a picture of me, I look exactly like an extra from The Walking Dead.

I have big teeth.  One eye is larger than the other.  My chin is really long.  I look as if I haven’t slept in ten years.  Ack!

Okay, my husband says he’s taking a better picture soon.  Maybe.  I’ll believe it when I literally see it.

This is me, Penny Watson.  Visit at your own risk!

Tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to A Portrait of the Artist as a… ?

  1. Amber Skyze says:

    Thanks for sharing. I don’t see anything wrong with you. Beautiful smile. :)

  2. Penelope says:

    You look gorgeous! I love your haircut. And I can’t wait to visit. And I’m bringing my camera….hee hee! I’m going to torture you, and you’ll look fab in every single photo!

  3. You always look great. It is nearly impossible to take a camera phone picture and look good unless you are a super model.

    Penny I am jealous you are getting to visit. My sinuses might implode on a plane. S

  4. Steph, I shoulda worn a bag over my head. Maybe blanked out the face. Your poor sinuses!

  5. You are going to torture me, aren’t you, Penny. I knew it! I just knew it!

  6. Amber – LOL! Big teeth grin!

  7. Jaye says:

    I’m not laughing at the photo (it’s great), but the descriptions are killing me!

  8. Oh gawd, Jaye! I hate photos of myself!

  9. Tom Stronach says:

    I increased the photo size to 248% and got a fright

  10. Tom Stronach says:

    Only kidding ………..about the photo size increase, that is, not the fright

  11. Tom Stronach says:

    No, really only kidding…. good looking Gal

  12. Amarinda Jones says:

    I have crooked lips with a scar under them. I call it character. You have character. Character rules. Anyone can look good in a photo. It’s one dimensional and doesn’t show truth. Character beats Cinderella’s prissy arsed looks any day.

  13. Katalina Leon says:

    I love your face and those high cheek bones! I wish those were mine.
    XXOO Kat

  14. Yeah, Kat – my mixed race great grandmother passed on her cheekbones. Makes me happy! My girls got ‘em too.

  15. Ah, Cinderella! I’ve always been more of a Rapunzel fan, Amarinda.

  16. Tom, you are hilarious. Wish I could say – wait till you see me all made up, but I don’t wear makeup. Me in makeup is truly frightening.

  17. Sandra Cox says:

    Hmm, maybe you should have worn the glasses, since you obviously weren’t seeing correctly;) There’s nothing wrong with your face, girl.