The rules of basketball according to Jake, the German shepherd.

Tuckered out after a big game.

German shepherds are bred to be rule-followers.  Jake, being more of the Loki type, is not as strict as his predecessor, Louie, was.  With Louie a rule was a rule was a rule and nobody broke team on his watch.

Of course, Louie wasn’t allowed to play basketball because he was forever guilty of major injury-causing over-the-back fouls, hurling himself into the air for rebounds without regard to his safety, and he popped basketballs with regularity with his cast iron teeth.  The basketball court is riddled with Louie’s remnants, which Jake, creative tool-using primate/dog hybrid that he is, makes good use of.

Jake, on the other hand, plays a gentleman’s game, at least with me.  He never commits an over-the-back foul, and he only goes up in the air if he knows he can land balanced on his back legs.  (He catches the ball with his front legs and drops it to the ground.)

So, basketball rules according to Jake the German shepherd:

1.  Mom is a better shooter than dad (heh-heh), but mom is a girl so I play less aggressively.

2.  If mom swishes the ball, she gets to continue to shoot until she either banks it off the backboard or misses and then all bets are off.  I have carte blanche to steal, dribble, and body-up to my doggie heart’s content.

3.  When mom whines– C’mon Jake, you’re a ball hog– I pass her the ball.

4.  If mom is a ball-hog, I drop the popped basketball I’m carrying (which I use as an extra appendage) and fly through the lane, knock the ball from her hands with my nose and dribble rings around her, making her look a fool.

5.  The wall and the fence are a dog’s best friend.  I play the carom perfectly. (It’s like indoor soccer.  Ever played?)

6.  My favorite part of the game?  When the ball bounces over the barricade and out of the court.  I get to dribble around the yard, mom chasing after me, until I decide it’s time to take the ball back to the court.  I graciously let her toss it back over the barricade.

7.  Playing with dad?  Now that’s a whole other ballgame.  I don’t pull any punches.  We get it on, man.  No holds barred.  Street ball.  Down and dirty.  This game is not for wienie dogs.  It’s for the big dogs.  Be warned, Lucy!


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21 Responses to The rules of basketball according to Jake, the German shepherd.

  1. Casey Wyatt says:

    He is sooooo cute!

  2. Penelope says:

    Cheap shot, Jake! A basketball is bigger than Lucy’s whole body. No fair.

    Although Lucy is excellent at soccer. I’ll have to video-tape her playing soccer and post it so you can see.

    Happy Friday! :)

  3. Delilah Hunt says:

    Your dog is so adorable. Whenever I read about him, it makes me less nervous to think about letting the kids have a dog someday. Thanks, Jake :-)

  4. Marie loughin says:

    I soooo want to watch this.

  5. Nina Pierce says:

    When do we get to see videos of these games? They sound hysterical!

  6. Jaye says:

    Ah, basketballs and soccer balls never last long enough around here for anyone to come up with rules. I am making Big Dog and Bigger Dog read this. Maybe they will learn something.

    Go, Jake, Go!

  7. Still smiling on this one, Julia. My husband read it over my shoulder, and then we read it to our mixed-breed dog, Maggie. She thinks she’s in love.
    Good job, Jake and Mom!

  8. Hi Marilyn – Maggie’s not alone, Jake has lots of female admirers – Daisy, Carly, Lola, Winnie, Nula, Luna, a bunch of cute girls whose names I can’t remember, plus he’s got his buds Ford, Hector, Tug, Rufus, Winston… He’s a funny dog!

  9. It’s the German shepherd, Jaye. Rules. They love rules and if you don’t give them rules to live by, they make them up on their own. We could not keep a ball around Louie. He was a ball-popping master, even the most expensive basketballs. Nothing lasted more than 90 seconds. Good luck!

  10. I keep videoing the games, Nina, but I haven’t figured out how to upload them. I think I need to load them on youtube and then I can access them.

  11. Okay, Marie, I will try. Have to use the youtube method.

  12. We’ve always had dogs, Delilah. When my kids were babies we had a golden retriever named Rosie who was their nanny, just like Nana in Peter Pan. She was great with babies of all kind.

  13. Yes, Penny, he’s issued a challenge to Lucy! It’s funny how Dachshunds like him. They must recognize another German!

  14. I think so, Casey! :)

  15. Yes, he’s an athlete, Amber!

  16. Woohoo…Jake is very cool..

  17. anny cook says:

    Thank you for making me smile…Have a lovely Mother’s Day.

  18. He thinks he’s cool, Savannah! I’ll try to get a video up.

  19. You’re welcome Anny and happy Mother’s Day!

  20. sandra cox says:

    Love the rules. That Jake is one smart ball player.