1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
10 Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater & Sports Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson ’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors’ Law - If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
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LOL OMG these are so true. Especially the traffic one. Seems to happen to me all the time.
And the doctor one – I always wondered why I felt better by the time I got to the appt.
Thanks for the Friday fun.
Ah, the laws of unintended consequence, we love em
#14 just made me laugh out loud! A corollary to that one is….
If the dog pukes, it won’t be on the 1500 sq ft of easy-to-clean hardwood floor, but the 100 sq ft sisal impossible-to-clean rug. Thanks a lot, Lucy!
As usual, you spark my morning, Julia. Printed these so I can read them all day when I need a laugh.
Where is #5??? Law of numbered list…inevitably we miss one in the middle.
Anny… oops!
Come back tomorrow, Sharon. He sent me more stuff!
In my case, Penny, it’s the cat. But Steph tells me that’s because cats like to dig their claws into something when they throw up!
Yes Tom. And you Scots!
Happens to me too, Amber. And the jam thingy.
Those are great. Did Tom come up with that. That is true about the claws. The wetness of the vomit is proportionate to the cost of and difficulty of cleaning the rug.
No my friend Nigel. I’m glad you told me about the cats!
OMG you know they are so true…Love these…
It’s true! It’s all true! Especially the doctor’s appointment. That always happens to me!
Me too, Casey! Totally!
They are true, Savannah!
#18 is perfect and so true. When I find socks or shoes that fit, now I buy several pairs because if I like them, they won’t make them.
Oh, Stephanie, always. I do the same thing when I find a pair of jeans that fit.
I love these. Of course, remove boss and insert Kids for the coffee one. Great laws!
Perfect and so true.
Thanks, Ciara!