So let’s talk superheroes.

Coming July 2012

Frequent visitor,Tom Stronach, said recently he’s a big fan of superhero movies.

I love superheroes.  While I do prefer DC to Marvel… yeah I know, as my husband likes to remind me, only dorks like DC… my preferences are immaterial.  What is material is Hollywood’s shoddy treatment of some of my favorite superheroes.

Which reminds me… The Avengers’ one saving grace?  No Natalie Portman.  Thank you Asgard!

Box Office Superhero Mega-Fail (not talking dollars, talking portrayal):

Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four:  Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Green Lantern.

I didn’t care much for Captain America.  I thought the film was freakish as in circus freakish.

The Green Hornet.

Thor.  Almost credible for the eye candy alone (Chris Hemsworth is a total hottie) and Stellan Skarsgard who I like very much.  Almost… but not quite.

The Avengers – a plot built around one-liners with a caricature-ish villain– which comic book villains tend to be of course, but still, the movie version of Loki lacks either the understated wit and imagination of Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor or the tortured, ego-maniacal menace of Heath Ledger’s Joker.

Some superhero movies succeed by spoofing the genre.

Kick-Ass.

Mystery Men.

Tank Girl.

Hellboy.  I love Hellboy!  (Hellboy II not so much.)

Some are retro, unique, dark and creepy:

Anybody remember The Crow?  Now that is a hauntingly good movie.

Watchmen.

Spawn.

Blade.

The Rocketeer.

Darkman.

I kinda liked The Punisher too.

But when it comes to my old faves like Thor (Marvel) and Green Lantern (DC), Hollywood dropped the ball, turned them into buffoons.  I won’t even discuss the crappy CGI in the Hulk films.  The Avengers was much better in that regard.

Oh?  Almost forgot.  Tony Snark, uh, I mean Stark.  Iron Man works well because Robert Downey, Jr. can deliver one-liners with more aplomb than anyone.  And, especially in the first film, the hero is provided with a good story.  A very good story.

Always golden:

Batman – The Dark Knight – the right stuff.

Superman – the versions with Christopher Reeve.

Spiderman – excellent writing and casting.

X-Men – hit or miss – but it’s hard to screw up Hugh Jackman and Ian McKellen.

There are so many more… Feel free to list your faves.

 

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24 Responses to So let’s talk superheroes.

  1. Amber Skyze says:

    The Crow was a good movie. :)

  2. Penelope says:

    I can’t believe you posted this today! I have my grades up for The Avengers (F…..DNF….hated it!) and Jersey Shore Shark Attack (A….loved the hilarious spoof of Jersey Shore on Syfy). When Jersey Shore Shark Attack kicks your butt in the grade department, your movie has SERIOUS problems. Expectations for a low-budget crappy Syfy movie are low, so it’s easy to surpass them. Expectations for a gigantic production major Hollywood film with tons of big-name celebrity-actors and a big-name director are HUGE….so you better deliver. (Which they didn’t).

    IMO, The Batman film series has been the most successful. Even with different directors and different actors.

    Great post!

  3. Casey Wyatt says:

    I must be a mega-geek because I’ve seen every movie on your list except for Kick-ass. You already know my feeling about The Avengers (I loved it). I agree that FF was a total train wreck, Green Hornet sucked and Green Lantern (couldn’t sit through it). I also grew up reading all of the Marvel comics on your list (and some DC) so I appreciate a great movie treatment over a really bad one (yes, I’ve seen the other Captain America movie – way back in the early 90s). There was time when a comic book fan like me would cringe at any superhero movie because they were all really, really bad. Then Tim Burton’s Batman came out and movie studios copped onto the idea that maybe there was money to be made from us fans. I was thrilled by Christopher Nolan’s Batman and I can’t wait to see how he wraps up his vision of the Dark Knight’s world.

    p.s. – Thor belongs to the Marvel universe. And I loved the Crow (I own James O’Bar’s graphic novel and it is way more brutal than the movie.)

  4. Katalina Leon says:

    I enjoyed all those movies.
    The late Dave Steven’s “Rocketeer” graphic novels were wonderfully kinky, inspired by Dave’s devotion to Betty Page and John Willis’ erotic graphic art. The Disney funded movie version captured none of that… too bad. Our copy of the Rocketeer was a nightstand book for years.
    I hope The Dark Knight Rises is as strong as the last two Dark Knights. We’ll soon find out, I don’t care for how the movie trailers have been edited. I hope I’m pleasantly surprised by the movie.
    We did a little work on “Spawn”. There should be more of that franchise.
    I’m still playing the soundtrack to The Crow. That was a powerful, tragic movie.
    I’m loving the Avengers and the developing dynamic of the group. Someone please give Black Widow and Hawkeye their own movie.
    I thought Captain America was a period-piece, beauty. It had a touch of Steampunk and we loved it.
    I loved the last Superman and I’m hoping the next one with Henry Cavill will be good too.
    Someone please put Hugh Jackman back in his Wolverine fighting cage and take his shirt away from him! Please! : )
    XXOO Kat

  5. I loved Tank Girl and always wished for a sequel. Also loved Hell Boy. HB 2 not so much either.

  6. Tom Stronach says:

    Just got to Penny’s post first, so I will not make the same mistake here as there, which was;
    “I am a die hard superhero comic fan and I have liked all the movies I am just tippexin over the screen your absurd comments (though haven’t seen it yet – oh shit can’t read some of the rest of the post now – hang on till I get the tippex remover –”

    Can’t believe also that The Green lantern was one of your FAVS —- HE WAS MY ALL TIME FAV

    The new films are like books to films. If it was a book first I have yet to see a great film made of it, although that might just be me….

    Same with the comics, the guys who wrote them had years of practice to perfect their characters and storey lines and so the movies will never do the same superior job to those same characters, but RDjnr does make a great iron Man, that is a clear winner in the casting stakes – thank goodness he got over his personal problems and has come back better and more polished than before falling into the abyss of celebrity

    and as I said to Penny and it would be wicked not to say the same to you

    LOVIN you – great post

    xxxxxxx

  7. Dear Tom – Green Lantern will always and forever be my favorite superhero. Oath and everything. Thor is my second favorite!

  8. Yes, I liked Tank Girl too, Steph. Don’t know many people who’ve seen it.

  9. Kat – I’m impressed! A little work on Spawn? Cool! Yes, The Crow is pretty dang powerful. Hawkeye did not get enough to do. Jeremy Renner is incredible – please give him his own movie again!

  10. Yes, Casey, made the correction and you are officially a GEEK! Welcome to my world!

  11. I’ll have to get over there ASAP, Penny. My daughter and I had the same feeling about The Avengers – the screenwriters wrote the quips and one-liners and then tried to make a story around them.

  12. I agree, Amber, The Crow was great.

  13. Amen to the No Natalie Portman.

  14. Katalina Leon says:

    I think I just want more Jeremy Renner : )
    He’s donning the Jason Bourne mantle in the new Bourne Identity re-boot in August, so I can get my fix then.
    XXOO Kat

  15. I will always be an X-Men fan…Loved The Crow as well…

  16. Despite myself I do like the X-Men, Savannah!

  17. Oh Kat, I can’t wait – perfect choice! The Hurt Locker was amazing.

  18. Marilyn – ROTFLMAO! Thank you!

  19. Ciara Knight says:

    I’ve always been an X-men fan. I agree about not Natalie Portman being a good thing with Avengers. I’m so not a fan.

  20. yoshi says:

    The old Green Lantern’s weakness was wood, the “new” one’s (50+ years new by my reckoning) is yellow so you were covered if you packed a yellow #2 pencil. I knew the entire power ring oath by heart long before Al Gore even considered creating the internet. Here is the thing about The Flash- he had the best costume with the tightest crotch in comics and he stored it in his freakin’ ring. That’s right and when he pushed on it just so the costume sprang out and he jumped inside of it. Now that is what I call fast. I would pay just to see him do that in a movie (in really fast slow motion). I can’t remember a single memorable villian he ever fought but I didn’t care. I just loved the tight red costume with the little yellow doodads on the ears. That was really all that mattered.

  21. Oh, Ciara – I’m with you! On both counts.

  22. Yoshi- once again you’ve left the king of comments. I wouldn’t mind seeing Flash run into his costume as well, in slow/fast motion! Tight crotch, yellow doodads and all!

  23. Nina Pierce says:

    I don’t read comics, they totally fry my logical brain. No order. Words willy nilly in boxes that aren’t all the same size. Yeeeeah, so can’t go there.

    That being said … I loved “The Avengers”. I found the one-liners hystercial. But then again, it’s not so much that they’re superheroes to me as an entertaining couple of hours at the theater.

  24. Nina – you probably appreciated The Avengers for what it was. As a comic book addict, I demand more!