So I had another meeting with my pedicurist today. She looks fabulous, by the way… got a cute bob.
What do you think we discussed? Aside from family, kids, work, trendy gang tattoos, we chatted about two topics – Fifty Shades of Grey and True Blood. Seriously, what else would we talk about?
If you recall, this is the same pedicurist who was enamored of Fifty Shades.
I didn’t bring it up… I didn’t bait her. I sorta wanted to just sit quietly and enjoy the pedicure. She asked me what I was reading and I told her all about Charlie Huston’s totally awesome, outrageous, weird ass, and wonderful vampire detective series.
So she says… “I finished Fifty Shades. Read all three books.”
Me, eyes narrowed – “Is that disappointment I hear in your voice?”
Pedicurist – “Well, by the time I got to book three, I was like, oh Christ, not sex again. I was so sick of the sex. I wanted a story. I mean the first book was so shocking and titillating and naughty, it totally hooked me, but by the second and third books, I was like, enough already. I was bored. I had zero interest in the characters and the story. I’m not even sure there was a story.”
Me – “What do you think happened? What changed?”
Pedicurist – “I kinda think the author had enough in her to make the characters interesting in the first book, but that was it. She didn’t have the, oh, I don’t know, the ability to take the story any farther.”
Me – “Interesting. So what are you reading now?”
Pedicurist – “Well, I had to get the bad taste out of my mouth so now I’m reading a nonfiction book about the history of Australia.”
Me – “Whoa.” Double take. ”That kinda came out of left field.”
Pedicurist – “Yeah, but I had to get Fifty Shades out of my head. It was bugging me.”
Jumped the shark…
Pedicurist – “So do you watch True Blood?”
Me – “I did the first three seasons and I watch an occasional episode but it’s too overwhelming. Too many characters, too many stories. Makes me not care about any of them, except Eric, of course, because he’s hot. I think I care about Sookie least of all.”
Pedicurist – “Yeah, Sookie has the worst storyline right now. But Eric and Bill are front and center. But I do know what you mean. The show is confusing even if you watch every week. And new characters are introduced constantly. But there’s nudity so that’s fun. Of course the nude characters have annoyingly perfect bodies.”
Me – “Alan Ball won’t be writing the next season so maybe I’ll give it another chance. I pretty much lost interest in Season Two when it was all Maryanne all the time. Season Three had some potential, especially with Godric, but that story was squandered.”
Pedicurist – “Godric’s back now.”
Me – “So I hear, but at this point it will take more than Godric to win me over.”
Jumped the shark…
Speaking of sharks– I saw my doctor today because my ankle continues to be messed up. He ordered a special brace and blah blah blah. Anyway the subject of hiking came up and we talked about hiking in Marin Headlands. I told him when I was there a couple weeks ago looking down on the surfers I kept wondering if I’d see a fin, since this beach is part of the Red Triangle.
He told me a true story. He’s a surfer. One day he was surfing at that very beach at that very spot when he saw a great white swimming right next to him. In a panic he fell off his board, was rolled by the wave, and got sliced by the fin on his surfboard.
He managed to get to shore without incident, despite bleeding like a stuck pig. When the lifeguards heard the words ‘shark’ and ‘fin’ they stopped listening and assumed he’d been attacked by the shark so they called everyone out of the water and summoned a helicopter. He said it was reported by all the news agencies as a shark attack.
Now that’s really jumping the shark.