Speaking of a Zombie Apocalypse…

From The Walking Dead: Yellow Jacket Bait

A rise in the number of zombies would precipitate a corresponding rise in the number of yellow jackets as zombies, i.e., rotting corpses, would provide a movable feast.  A ready source of decaying meat.

Thus I would need a flame thrower to defend myself from the swarms of yellow jackets, especially in more mild climates like California and much of the southwest, and the southeast.

Cold = Dead Yellow Jackets

Thus I would have to make my way to Montana or the Dakotas.  Possibly Canada.  The growing season is short but the winters are harsh, which would, in turn, freeze zombie appendages, causing them to fall off, and the climate would kill yellow jackets.

Problem solved.

Yes, I know. Perseverating…

But damn, I’m suffering from major post-traumatic stress disorder!  However I have learned I can be desensitized.  And it will be effective and permanent after five years of treatment.  Life will go on.



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24 Responses to Speaking of a Zombie Apocalypse…

  1. Delilah Hunt says:

    I’m still lost on this whole zombie thing. It’s like one day I woke up and all of a sudden there are zombies all over the internet and that we’re on the cusp on a zombie invasion. Life is weird.

  2. Amber Skyze says:

    I’m with you Delilah! :)

  3. Penelope says:

    I still think you should get a hazmat suit. It would protect you against zombies and bees. And you can have a flamethrower as an accessory.

  4. Rachel says:

    But what would you do if one managed to sneak up on you? A flame thrower would be a bit dangerous in such close quarters. You don’t want to end up destroying yourself as well as the zombies. You should ensure it is equipped with some form of blade for some stabby fun.

  5. This is so funny. I would have never have equated a rise in zombies with a plague of yellow jackets, but you’re right. You’d want to go to Montana. North Dakota is over populated right now because of the natural gas industry.

  6. Brinda says:

    I’m so glad you have a plan. You are too funny.

  7. LOL Brinda! You appeared in my spam folder with all my Brazilian spam. Must be that itty bitty bikini you wear! Yes, I have a plan. Move away if desensitization isn’t possible. Maybe to Antarctica. :)

  8. Yes, I think I will go to Montana, Stephanie. The non-grizzly bear, non-yellow jacket area. Although I am quite fond of Fargo.

  9. Hi Rachel! Thanks for the comment. Stabby fun. I could go for that with zombies but I’d never manage to stab the yellow jackets. I think I need a suit – like Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four). I can be covered with flame but not burn up myself.

    I also think in the zombie apocalypse I will live on an island or in a tree. Or both.

  10. Hate Zombies, and Yellow jackets too.

  11. I’m thinking about a hazmat suit, Penny. At the park this week a bunch of city employees were out in hazmat suits killing yellow jackets. I was so envious!

  12. Delilah – zombies keep us from worrying about what we really worry about – the economic distress we’re all experiencing. That’s the point of zombies.

  13. Steph – let’s put nasty wasps on your list too – as you were stung by a particularly awful wasp.

  14. Aaron Pound says:

    Would yellow jackets feeding on zombies result in zombie yellow jackets?

  15. Oooh, Aaron, didn’t think of that. Quite possible. I better start packing.

  16. anny cook says:

    Knew there was a reason for cold snowy weather. Remind me this coming winter when I’m wading through a foot of the white stuff.

  17. This is right Anny. Keep repeating this. There is a reason for snow and cold.

  18. Hmm…are you absolutely certain, Julia, that you don’t want to enter that contest? You could write about the regret of being stung by yellow jackets (and waging a imaginary war on all of them, even the zombie yellow jackets)–I think the focus is on the lesson learned.
    Anyway, you could win and take hubby (or a zombie) with you to New York in mid-winter. No yellow jackets there, not then…unless they really are out to get you…

  19. Yes, Marylin, I think a concrete jungle is just what I need! I could title my regret story… I regret my passion for exercise in the great outdoors.

  20. yoshi says:

    I don’t know about the hazmat suit. What if one got inside? That would be bad.

  21. Yoshi I’ll duct tape all the openings.

  22. Tom Stronach says:

    Ishbel says 37 years and she is desensitised Maybe I need to stop wearing my yellow fluorescent safety jacket when I grab her unaware’s for a tumble……

  23. Tom, tell Ishbel I’m in awe!