A Comedy of Errors.

I almost typed Eros.  Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice.

So see if you can follow my convoluted logic…

I can’t go outside during the daylight hours because:

I don’t even want to talk about it.  You already know the answer.

I went to the allergy clinic on Wednesday.  They can’t start anti-venom (yes venom) injections until my lung function improves because I messed up my lung function when I caught whooping cough a few years ago.  Exposure to whooping cough was not my fault and it’s a long boring story.

The doctor and nurses at the allergy clinic started me on inhaled corticosteroids twice a day plus a rescue inhaler similar to albuterol.  Unbelievable!  I have to test my Peak Flow twice a day. If I can’t get my Peak Flow over 400 points the allergist will not give me the twice-weekly anti-venom injections because of my increased risk of death.  Of course not getting the anti-venom injections leaves me with a certain risk of death from yellowjackets.

Can you see me tearing my hair out just now at this catch 22?

Speaking of catch 22′s… Today we brought the cat home from the hospital wearing the cone of shame in order to keep him from ripping out the staples stuck in his left shoulder after surgery for an abscess which resulted from an injury which could have been treated while we were in Wales if the tech had actually given the doctor my instructions for an examination and my written permission for any necessary treatment when I left the cat there in the first place.  Talk about your run-on sentences.  So frustrated!

What’s the first thing the cat did when he got home?  Ran under my bed and knocked off the cone of shame.  Thus I had to don ye olde thinking cap and invent something which somebody who works in the field of veterinary medicine should have invented long ago – a cut up sock sling.  Someone explain to me why, after all these years of veterinary medicine, we are still resorting to the cone of shame, which increases stress, anxiety and discomfort in both the wearer and the pet owner.

So I took a pair of my daughter’s short running socks, cut them in half, saving the cuff section, wrapped each in Kinesio (flexible) Tape, created a nonstick sling out of the same tape, inserted the cat’s front legs into the socks, stuck the sling over his shoulders and secured the sling to each sock with more tape.  Voila!

Poor Ichi was desperate to go outside but hey, guess what, catch 22! He has to be watched and I can’t go outside during the daylight hours because of the stupid damn should-be-incinerated scourge of yellow jackets!  So my husband, who thank god is working from home today, has been assigned cat observation duty.

Meanwhile Jake is distraught over his little buddy’s distress, although he thinks the cone of shame makes a great chase toy.  However the good news is hubby just reported to me that the cat is resting comfortably near the jasmine, with his sling intact.

Welcome to my Weird Weekend.

 

 

 

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18 Responses to A Comedy of Errors.

  1. I wonder if the bees, wasps or whatever was why your vampire former neighbors couldn’t go out.

    Brilliant improv on Ichi

    How did you get a lung infection??? travel does that kind of thing. You probably picked up some ancient Welsh bug.

  2. anny cook says:

    Only you lead such an exciting life. Compared to yours mine is dead boring. Feel better!

  3. Maybe those vampire neighbors brought the yellow jackets, Steph, to torment me. :) Thanks about the improv. You do what you gotta do, but I can’t believe a cone is the best anyone can come up with!
    Oh, I got whooping cough a few years back from a nurse I worked with. She caught it from her un-vaccinated grandchildren, came to work sick and coughed on me. I guess my immunization had worn off. In any case the disease left me with some lung damage. Nothing that bothers me under normal circumstances.

  4. Oh Anny, my poor cat! Now that it’s night I have to go out and search for him.

  5. Amber Skyze says:

    I did something similar with our dog when he cut open his side and got stitches. I used a t-shirt. Must better than that darn cone of shame. :)

  6. sandra cox says:

    Oh my gosh, Julia. Poor you and poor kitty. Brilliant idea on the sling. I hate those cones. Very frustrating about the tech.

  7. Casey Wyatt says:

    Oh my goodness Julia – there is never a dull moment in your life. And poor kitty (Ichiban?) I hope he heals quick! We have a lot of experience with the cone of shame with our first dalmatian. He kept having ear surgery and constantly had to wear the cone. It sucked for him and us.

    And whooping cough – I think when I got my last tentnus shot it had a booster for it since the CDC now recommends that all adults be re-vaccinated (unless I’m thinking of the wrong disease). I am so bummed to hear that you have to deal with that on top of the yellow jackets of doom!

  8. I’m glad I got my Pertussus booster. Had to get it because we’re having a huge outbreak in the Northwest and anyone near a new baby needs a booster. After pneumonia and 2 bouts of bronchitis last year, I don’t need any more lung problems. I hope you reach 400 pts soon.

  9. Thanks, Stephanie. I can reach 400 when I use the inhaler. Ce la vie!

  10. Yes, Casey, the CDC does recommend adults get vaccinated since we’re no longer immune. Whooping Cough is not fun. Your poor Dalmation! My cat knows how he feels.

  11. I know, Sandra, my poor kitty. If the tech had told the vet that first day Ichi probably would not have needed surgery.

  12. I’ve done that with our dogs as well, Amber. T-shirts and soccer socks work great.

  13. Penelope says:

    If we could fit all the yellow-jackets with tiny little cones of shame, then you would be all set! They couldn’t sting you!

    :)

  14. Nah Pens, they could still sting me. They just wouldn’t be able to fly. They’d walk around searching for me.

  15. hubby says:

    Praying for rain.

  16. Thanks, hubby! Love you!

  17. Tom Stronach says:

    Your life is just one big constant roller coaster of excitement , isn’t it! and poor Oscar, trying to get some work done working from home, and you banish him to the garden to babysit wee Ichiban. And talking of things Japanese, this is one of my all time favourite closing sequences at the end of a gruesome sword fighting move; Zatoichi

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT5_My6X3w4&list=FLun-yuHtBSS6mSmpU_6V4UQ&feature=mh_lolz

  18. Thanks for the pick-me-up, Tom! Poor poor kitty. Not poor Oscar!

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