I could sit around all day

wondering why in the hell my books sell or why in the hell they don’t sell and I’d never come up with an answer.

There is no answer.

Sometimes books sell.

Sometimes books don’t sell.

Some books sell better than other books.

Some books I might leave in an outhouse to be used as toilet paper sell like gangbusters while other glorious books languish, unread, unremembered, unsung, unsold.

I just received an online newspaper chock full of advice on how to increase my sales, promote my books, my person, my platform.

I swear if I read one more word about how to prostitute myself I’m going to… to… make some sort of empty threat.

Here’s what I have to say -

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.”

Which means – Saint Mary’s church in the hollow of the white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the church of Saint Tysilio of the red cave.

Because that makes more sense and it’s about as useful.  And I can work on my pronunciation.  Besides, I was there.

Thus I’m going to change the subject.

You know what’s really cute?  When my big bird, Tibby, eats her Frosted Flakes – now don’t go reporting me to the bird police – my little bird, Little Girl, cleans the crumbs from Tibby’s beak like a remora cleaning a shark.

Tibby likes to dip her Frosted Flakes in water first to soften up the sugar frosting.  She sucks all the sugar off, turning the flake around and around with her beak, and then she eats the flake.

She doesn’t like the low-sugar Frosted Flakes nor does she like generic.  It’s Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes or nothing.

Hey, what can one do?  She’s been eating Frosted Flakes since she was a baby and she’s healthy as a horse.

So, an Ichi-ban update.  Today we took the sling off and observed him to make certain he wouldn’t try to rip his staples out.  So far so good.  He’s still feeling pretty miserable.  Poor fellow.

Yellow Jacket Report – more in the yard than ever before.  I take my life in my hands every time I walk to the car.  Why don’t they just die off already?

Even though it’s hot out, I wear heavy jeans, a t-shirt, a thick under-armor shirt over the t-shirt and a black hoodie with the hood up and pulled down over my face and the sleeves pulled down over my hands.  It’s sick.  Someone is going to mistake me for a mugger.

You know, some days…  Going stir crazy stuck in the house.

 

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20 Responses to I could sit around all day

  1. Amber Skyze says:

    Awww, I feel bad for you having to armour up to go out. I love that the bird eats Frosted Flakes…cool. :)

    And the books, well I’d just been thinking about this before reading your post. I hate how it plagues me.

  2. I’m hoping for rain, you can hope for an early frost to freeze the little buggers.

  3. Jaye says:

    It occurs to me that wearing white might help, Julia. Bees and wasps go after black because the most vulnerable parts of animals (noses and eyes) tend to be dark. Heavy rain and a nice frost will probably help, too. Am doing my rain dances on your behalf.

  4. Jaye – LOL! Tried white, got stung twice! Now I’m in black, hoping they can’t see me. Thanks for the rain dances.

  5. Either would be welcome, Stephanie.

  6. I know, Amber! No rhyme or reason. I think we must ‘zen’ it.

  7. anny cook says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzennnnnnnnnnn. Okay. Nope, can’t worry about it. My current editor, a dude named Chad, loves Spear so I’ll be happy with that. Can’t get much better. Glad all your critturs are doing well. Hon, I worry about you and the yellow jackets. There is some reason they love you so. Probably because you’re a sweetheart…

  8. Thanks for making me laugh, Anny. A dude named Chad, eh? Must be fun to work with a guy editor! Yeah, the stinkin’ yellow jackets adore me. Either that or I smell like something they hate and fear. Can’t imagine what…

  9. anny cook says:

    It’s especially fun when you’re writing steamy romance. He had really good ideas and points I’ll be incorporating in the edits. Enjoyed working with him. :-)

  10. You’ll be a trend setter, Julia. From now on, if you don’t know, you can say:
    “Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.” Brilliant!

    I’m also smitten with the logic of your birds, dipping Frosted flakes in water to soften them.
    You are a wealth of colorful information!
    Welcome home!

  11. sandra cox says:

    Down with all yellow jackets!!!!
    Your little bird sounds like a hoot.
    Hope kitty is better soon.
    Hugs,

  12. Penelope says:

    I think you’ve been going about this all wrong. What is the main predator of yellow jackets? Skunks and raccoons will eat them. So, all you have to do is introduce a raccoon family and skunk family into your garden, and let them loose. Hopefully they will eat all the bees and take care of your problem.

    :)

  13. We have raccoons, Pens. Useless! All they want is cat food.

  14. Hi Sandra. The kitty is better, yay! Yes – down with all yellow jackets!

  15. I know, Marylin – the birds are remarkably intelligent. They are very interesting to watch. And yes, it’s like saying supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Did I spell that right?

  16. That’s so cool, Anny! I love a guy’s perspective!

  17. I hate wasps too; our are getting lazy and will hopefully all die soon. S

  18. I hope your wasps die soon too, Steph!

  19. Tom Stronach says:

    Down to the garden centre and buy either a leaf sucker up with the shredder or a sit upon garden roller. Get all armoured up and get out there and suck em and shred them or squash them into the lawn xxxx

  20. I wish, Tom. They’d attack me.

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