Midnight at the Barrett’s…

Jake always comes to my side of the bed if he needs something in the middle of the night.  Always.  Even if I’m out of town hubby says Jake comes to my side of the bed and whacks the spot where I normally sleep.

I’m a light sleeper so I hear him coming every time.  He walks up to me, sniffs at my face and then whacks the side of the bed with his big paw.  He’s telling me he wants to go outside.

Last night I figured he’d want to go out at some point when hubby came to bed and mentioned Jake had finished his entire bowl of food – this is the dog who refuses to eat.  Unfortunately he wanted to go out just after midnight.  I had only fallen asleep maybe an hour before.

I hauled myself out of bed, flipped on a night light so I could see what was on the stairs (Jake is like a little kid, he loves to leave his balls on the stairs) and I opened the back door for him.

We have this thing, Jake and I, a process.  I turn on the outside light and I leave the back door open.  He comes in when he’s ready.

He has a routine.  Run outside.  Check the perimeter of the yard for intruders.  Pee.  Drink from the fountain.  Recheck the perimeter for intruders.  Stare at the corner of the fence where the raccoons like to hang out.  Poop.  Drink from the fountain.  Check the perimeter one last time.  Come inside.  Then I shut the door.  He’s convinced he has a job to do, which he does.  I let him do it.

Hubby finds it all annoying and yells at him, which is probably why Jake wakes me up instead of him.

Anyway I let him out.  I noticed he drank about a gallon of water from the fountain so I checked his water dish.  It was almost empty.  I picked up the water dish, which is pretty big, and headed to the kitchen sink (in the semi-dark) to fill it up.  I flipped on the faucet and stepped forward with my bare feet right onto a giant banana slug which squished slime and goo all over my feet and between my toes.  Oh my god it was gross!

I dropped the water dish and shrieked loud enough to wake the dead but apparently not loud enough to wake hubby.  I hopped around with a banana slug stuck to my foot.  Jake came running in to save me, but when he realized it was a banana slug he sniffed at it, curled his lip, and returned to his rounds.

It was so disgusting.  I had to clean up the mess- the spilled water and the squished slug- and wash off my foot before I could go back to bed.   Ewww.

Do you know people actually eat banana slugs?  Kind of like escargot, which I refuse to eat because, well, blech.  I don’t care how much garlic and butter you put on a snail, it’s still a snail.

Banana Slug Sushi – a recipe.

Yup… typical night at the Barrett’s.

Tom – when you and Ishbel come, beware of slimy banana slugs.

Oh, P.S…. A typical morning at the Barrett’s.  My husband was eating a handful of nuts and he dropped a pistachio onto the floor.  My philosophy is~ if it falls on the floor it’s a tribute to the Mighty Floor Gods.   While I don’t mind a little dirt on occasion, I draw the line at pet hair.  Or people hair which is a million times worse than pet hair.  Or whatever gross stuff we all track in.

My husband’s philosophy is this – if it’s food he eats it, no matter where it’s been.

You know, I had this great aunt once who used to do that.  She’d pick stuff off people’s plates – bones, gristle, fat, hair combs, lost teeth.  She developed a bezoar.  Believe me, you don’t want to know.

Anywho, my husband dropped a pistachio.  Before I could stop him he reached down to pick it up and popped it in his mouth.  He chomped down on it and got the funniest look on his face.  Out of the blue he turned on his heel, ran to the sink, and spit it out… “It’s a piece of dog food,” he said.

Heheheheheheh!  Still laughing!  Damn good thing for him I squished that banana slug!


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18 Responses to Midnight at the Barrett’s…

  1. This was such a cute story about Jake’s midnight roaming, his way of coming to your side of the bed and let you know, etc. So sweet. Maggie was curled up on the floor by the computer table, and I almost read it to her (she LOVEs to be read to, if it’s followed by a treat).
    Then I saw the picture. Thanks a lot, Julia…especially for following up with a Banana Slug Recipe!
    But this is so much better than yellow jackets, right?
    We need to find you a new color…

  2. Marylin- LOL! They are really gross. Even grosser when you step on them. :P

  3. ABE says:

    Thank you. I really needed that, the image of the look on your DH’s face when he realizes, well, it’s not a pistachio.

    It wasn’t even Schadenfreude. Just plain dumping me out of the dumps with a hilarious image for my mind to keep for a while. The DH is yours – the ‘look’ is now mine. I can place it on anyone when I need to. I don’t suppose you took a photograph? Probably not – those things appear and disappear faster than my scuttling chinchilla.

    Going to bed happy. Thanks again.

  4. Oh, that brought back memories. Maybe I’ll tell one of my GSD stories one day. Like when I heard a noise and I was scared, home alone and I asked my dog to go check. So she did, with pretty bad grace I have to say, but properly. She trawled around the perimeter, gave me a look and curled up on the floor with her back to me (she slept in the bedroom). That was a ‘mum, you’re an idiot’ look.

  5. Amber Skyze says:

    LOL Thanks for the morning laugh. It’s funny how dogs have to scan the yard to make sure everything is okay. :)
    Oh and gross on the slug.

  6. Beckey says:

    Thanks for sharing that cute story…
    Yuck on the slug bit (I am notoriously finding the gray and black one outside …)

  7. Jaye says:

    Can’t type, still laughing…

  8. Penelope says:

    I was just about to say, “Well at least it wasn’t dog poop or cat puke you stepped on…” But, honestly a slug is just as bad.



  9. Yes, Jaye – it was very funny and so not funny at the same time. :)

  10. Oh Penny, I’ve done the step in cat puke thing. Ewwww. But I think the slug was a little worse.

  11. Oh those slugs, Beckey! I’ve seen the brown striped ones too. I think they are zebra slugs. I once found one so big it looked like a fat snake.

  12. You’re welcome, Amber. We all need to laugh about stupid stuff!

  13. Ah Greta, Jake loves nothing more than an inspection tour. It’s his favorite duty! I can see your dog rolling her eyes at you but doing her job anyway.

  14. Thanks for stopping by ABE. My DH wants everyone to know he later found the pistachio when he stepped on it. :P

  15. Tom Stronach says:

    What the hell is wrong with Oscar, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of dog food, dried or otherwise, I worry for you sometimes living with this neandrethalic philistine who has little appreciation….. LoL Oh, BTW I am with Oscar on the food pick up rule what’s wrong with you Missy, war could break out and a bomb could fall on your larder and when that happens you’ll soon be picking up the scraps to eat and store for later. Oscar’s just getting in the habit for what’s to come ……

    And as for the banana slugs…. Cool

  16. William Ockham says:

    This may be the first time I have encountered a real person using the word “bezoar” (at least since my wife was in med school).

    Here’s the thing about escargot. They prove that with enough butter and garlic anything can taste awesome.

  17. Dear William – Bwaaaa-haaaa! Studied bezoars in nursing school. And my husband’s a doctor. But I remembered my dad telling me this story when I was a little kid and he actually used the word ‘bezoar’.
    My grandmother loved escargot. She’d bring me the shells. Smelled delicious but still… snails. Two of my three kids eat escargot because they share your philosophy. Butter and garlic, can’t go wrong.

  18. Sandra Cox says:

    Ewww on the slug. Hehehe on the dog food.