One is under no obligation to reciprocate.

However, in this business I am frequently reminded of the song by Allen Toussaint, performed by one of my favorites– the late great Lowell George of Little Feat-

Here’s a portion of the song, On Your Way Down, from Lyrics Database:

Since the beginning it hasn’t changed yet
People fly high begin to lose sight
You can’t see very clearly when you’re in flight

It’s high time that you found
The same people you misuse on your way up
You might meet up
On your way down

Vintage wines from the year ’62
It’s your thing, it’s your thing
It pleases you
You got to frown when you cross town
You think it’s an honor just to have you around

It’s high time that you found
The same dudes you misuse on your way up
You might meet up
On your way down

FYI – It’s not because I’m stuck up.  Or because I don’t want to talk to you– I mean the reason I closed my FB account and the reason I don’t hang out much on Twitter.

I closed my FB account because FB was  annoying the hell out of me.  I don’t hang out much on Twitter because it’s too distracting and I don’t have much extra time.

Yeah, I know I’m out of the loop.  I know I miss most of the drama and goings on in Twittersville, but if you ever want to talk to me give me a holler.  I’ll respond.  Or you can always email me.

I guess you could say I speak when spoken to.

But that’s not really the point of this blog.  My point is simple.  There’s this person – no, none of you – who needed my help on his way up.  I provided him with help.  I was generous with my time.  When he made it big, I became a nonentity in his world.

To be honest, it hurt like the dickens.  When something like this happens, in either our personal or professional lives, it stings.  I think it’s really important to remember the people you meet on the way up.

So, although I ain’t up there, here’s some overdue thanks to the following authors, women who’ve stuck by me since day one of my return to the world of writing:

Fran Lee

Katalina Leon

Amber Skyze

Sandra Cox

Anny Cook

Tessie Bradford

Ladies, you are the best!




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17 Responses to Reciprocity.

  1. Amber Skyze says:

    Awww, we love you Julia. I remember way back when, when we all were in the Frog Pond. I didn’t know much about the publishing world. Not that I know a lot now.
    I broke down and did a FB account, but I haven’t given in to the Twitter temptation. Like you I don’t have a ton of free time.
    And I do try to give back. I helped Marie Rose Dufour in her beginning. She reached out to me and I willingly gave. I don’t mind helping those who need it, but I agree no wham bam thank you ma’am. :)

  2. Yes, ma’am, Amber, we were all little froggies in The Pond.

  3. Penelope says:

    You’re nice! Nice shout-out to loyal friends.

    And as for the schmo who dinged you…karma’s a bitch, and don’t think he’s not getting his just rewards. He’ll be getting them. Believe me.

  4. Katalina Leon says:

    My friend’s father was an investor who built and lost three large fortunes back to back. He always said, “be kind because you meet the same people on the way up as you do on the way down, but the people you start with are always there.”
    You are one of the most diverse and interesting women out there. Your blog is part of my morning ritual.
    I’m grateful I started in the frog pond with you!
    XXOO Kat

  5. He’s totally correct, Kat. Be kind. And thank you sweetie – I can always count on you to stop by!

  6. Maybe, Pen. Maybe. My dad always says evil people never live to regret their evil-ness. They don’t care. So we’ll see. I don’t think about it often, but I do believe we should give credit where credit is due.

  7. I will always say are an amazing friend and you have a big heart.

  8. I can’t imagine you forgetting those who helped you on the way up. Knowing you and reading your blog has helped me in ways you’ll never know. And remember, even if that evil man doesn’t get his come-uppance, he’s out of your life. Good riddance.

  9. Thanks Savannah and Stephanie. Yes he is out of my life.

  10. Diana Stevan says:

    Ah, the trials and tribulations of exposing oneself on the net. It’s a toss-up with social media, whether it enhances a writer’s career or not. Good luck on your choices. And staying away from all that chatter, can only help the writing.

  11. Hi Julia. I’m sorry to hear that.
    It’s discouraging when someone we go out of our way to help turns their back on us.
    I hope you tweet every now and then. That’s how I found this blog.
    Thank you.
    louise3anne twitter

  12. Thanks, Louise, and thanks for stopping by! I do tweet occasionally. :)

  13. Beckey says:

    Sorry to hear…. Amazing author with an interesting outlook on things , enjoyed seeing the feeds …

    Hope things get better for you

  14. Hi Beckey – thanks! I’m actually doing well. It’s a been a weird month.

  15. anny cook says:

    Hmmm. All the good comments were used!!!! You keep me grounded when things are shaky. Thank you for being my friend!

  16. Anny – the feeling is mutual!