So it happened again.

I felt a need for oblivion.  You see… my family… they…

Well, when I am forced under certain circumstances to interact with my extended family I feel a need for mind altering substances.

You shoulda seen me when I was a teenager.

Well, maybe not…

So I was feeling this last night in a wish I had a perfect knee so I could get addicted to running again kind of way.  I checked the wine fridge thingy and all we had was one cheap-ass (Tim, kind of like weird-ass) bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, not my fave, and a bunch of Cabernet.  Good Cabernet as in save for special occasions Cabernet.

I stared for a while.  I opened the liquor cabinet and stared in there too.  Over the years people have given us all kinds of gifts, sweetish sorts of beverages with labels that say Peppermint Schnapps and Chocolatinis and Metaxa, whatever the hell that is – none of which I can stand.  So I gave that a pass.

Then I remembered the bottle of Talisker up on top.  Ah yes – fragrant, smoky, peaty, bitey (is this a word?)… bought in Scotland.  How can you not drink something that calls your name in a Scottish brogue?

I poured myself a glass and added a little water, cuz hubs says water opens up the Scotch – makes it bloom, he says.  It does smell really good.

So I took a sip, and yes, it was good, but the phone rang.  I ran upstairs to get some information for one of my kids, chatted for about fifteen minutes, and when I returned to the kitchen to retrieve my glass of Talisker, what should I find but a glass full of drowned fruit flies.  Apparently fruit flies (which spontaneously generate you know) have a hankering for expensive Scotch.

So much for oblivion.  And no, don’t worry, I didn’t drink anything.  I’m not given to alcoholism.  I’ll be all right.  Drinking is no solution, it’s simply a distraction.

Families.  Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Especially at holiday time!

I should be so lucky!

 

 

This entry was posted in Holidays, humor, Slightly Off Topic, Wine and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to So it happened again.

  1. I can relate. After my mum died I dispensed with the annual day with the relos. Friends you can choose. Sad about the Scotch, though. I like a nice smooth drop. Single malt is best. Ah well. At least the fruit flies died happy.

  2. Yes, Greta, the fruit flies did die happy. What a short sweet existence. Some relatives are fine. Some of my relatives are not very fine.

  3. yoshi says:

    Too bad about the scotch but you may have discovered a highly effective- but somewhat expensive- way to rid your house of fruit flies. Then again, once word gets around you may discover them traveling long distances to die happy at your place.

  4. Amber Skyze says:

    Damn fruit flies. I hate the little buggers. We keep a lot of fruit because the baby loves all fruit. I have to deal with them all the time.

    As for families, well, as you said. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. :)

    Hugs

  5. I keep moving farther away, but it doesn’t work. I’m preparing myself for family (BIL) spending three days with us. This too shall pass. I need scotch.

  6. Katalina Leon says:

    I’ll save my Scotch for Christmas Day with my super politicized Father-in-law. A few uninvited fruit flies won’t stop me from drinking it … : (
    XXOO Kat

  7. Diana Stevan says:

    Those are my sentiments exactly. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. Funny, how that is. Have a wonderful time with them, nonetheless. None of us are without quirks. Enjoy the good with the bad. Merry Christmas and the best in 2013!

  8. Jaye says:

    Reminds me, need to go to the liquor store…

    Having just spent an hour fleeing little old ladies wearing rank perfume, I could use a drink. Or two.

    Holding my glass up in salute, m’dear. This too shall pass. (If all else fails, rent a wood chipper–takes care of funny uncles and drama queens just fine)

  9. It will never pass in my lifetime, Jaye. One particular person drives me to drink. A. Lot. Hang in there with your bourbon!

  10. Hi Diana – I’ll see them after the holidays. Too many blizzards to drive safely. You have a wonderful Christmas and New Year too!

  11. Go for it, Kat. I just couldn’t get into the fruit flies. ;)

  12. Yeah, me too, Stephanie. I did move West but they all followed. Some of ‘em are great. Some not so…

  13. Yes, Steph, I know. Very smart!

  14. I know, Amber – where do these fruit flies come from? It’s not as if I have rotting fruit everywhere. I still maintain spontaneous generation. You have a lovely holiday, family and all! Kiss that baby for me!

  15. Right, Yoshi. A very expensive means of ridding one’s kitchen of fruit flies. Hmmmm. Maybe just a teaspoon would work?

  16. My Mum used to start drinking bourbon and Coke at 8am on Christmas Day – she said she needed to be pleasantly mellow before her mother arrived!

  17. anny cook says:

    Mine all live on the other side of the country and cannot afford to travel. Neither can I. So it’s just the hunk and me hanging out, knitting, crocheting, watching television, reading, listening to music, cuddling, and occasionally eating cookies or popcorn… :-)

  18. I like your mom, Ciara! It’s called pre-drinking – getting your pre-buzz on. ;)

  19. Sounds like fun, Anny. Mmmmmm, popcorn….

  20. Tim Dittmer says:

    Those poor fruit flies. Well, at least they died happy.

    And I know what cheap-ass means… first-hand knowledge.

  21. Damn fruit flies. I had to put some beer out for them too, Tim. They keep spontaneously generating.

  22. Tom Stronach says:

    I don’t know how I feel about this revelation – killing all those poor defenceless fruit flies, what harm were they doing to anyone but on the other hand there are certain members of my family that I would happily throw a large rock at rather than a life jacket if they were struggling in the water…..

    Merry Crimbo xxxx

  23. Damn fruit flies! I finally got rid of them between the Scotch, a glass of flat beer and a plate of honey. I’d throw you a life jacket, Tom, but I suspect you can swim quite well.

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