There is a little know principle in applied physics. It’s called The Salad Dressing Equivalent:
When a fixed measurement of a suspension, i.e., an oil-based, sugar-based, or lactose-based suspension, is spilled on a hard-wood or tile floor its volume increases by a factor of ten.
It’s like, uh, evil magic.
(There is another principle which I won’t get into right now, The Raw Egg Certainty - If a raw egg is dropped, it will always break on an uneven surface, thereby quadrupling the amount of energy and time required for cleanup. E=Cleaning Power x 4.)
Last night I made steamed artichokes (frost-kissed=the most flavorful), slow-cooked braised beef short ribs, cracked garlic potatoes and brussel sprouts. I always serve artichokes with an olive oil-herb balsamic vinaigrette.
As I carried the vinaigrette to the table I noticed my husband had left his large, heavy, expensive laptop sitting, open, on a place mat in the middle of the table. Big no-no. I knew I would have to move it in order to protect it from spillage.
As I approached the table, a small bowl of vinaigrette in one hand – approximately one-quarter cup of vinaigrette – I tripped on one of Jake’s toys.
The bowl of vinaigrette went flying at a high rate of speed, heading directly for the laptop. Heedless of my own safety, I threw myself toward the table, dove for the laptop, sacrificing my body, my expensive new black skinny jeans and brand spanking new hiking boots, all for the sake of my husband’s laptop.
I managed to hold the laptop over my head as I slid across the oil-slicked floor, banging my hip into the table, my butt into the chair. But I saved the laptop from complete and utter ruination.
My floor, my table, one of my chairs, my jeans and my new hiking boots were not so lucky.
It is because of The Salad Dressing Equivalent that one-quarter cup of balsamic vinaigrette can spread across an entire kitchen floor, coat a table, a chair, a new pair of skinny jeans and two brand new- virgin- hiking boots. It is the reason I spent an hour on my hands and knees scrubbing.