Julia Barrett's World

Something happens every time I fly through Seattle to get to Bozeman.

I’ve got the transfer timed perfectly because I don’t want to wait long in the Seattle airport - you know, no more than 40-60 minutes between flights. I make it to my gate after a potty stop - which is a story in itself - hang on, I may have to seque…I headed into the crowded bathroom, waited for a stall, finally one opened up, LOL. Went in, set down my computer bag, set my purse on top of my computer bag, as there was no hook on the door, sat down, etc. etc. (because flying always makes me have to pee a bunch. TMI?) As I was indisposed, it came to my attention that anytime anyone else opened or closed their stall door, my door popped open, lock or no lock. So I had to reach forward in order to hold it closed, at which point, my entire toilet seat flew off the toilet with me on it. Good times!

After much ado, I arrive at the new gate - yes, I already know I’ll be flying in a small prop plane, but it’s all good because they serve free beer!

Announcement: Passengers waiting for flight blah.blah.blah please remain in the boarding area. There’s an eensy-weensy mechanical problem with your plane so we’re going to get it checked out by our mechanics, but we should be boarding soon.

How eensy-weensy??? Like, is there a check engine light on? Not reassuring when the plane is about the size of a box of Triscuits.

Thirty minutes later, Announcement: We’ve had the mechanics check things out and it looks like you’ll be getting a new plane. As soon as we tow this plane away from the gate and tow your new plane over from maintenance, we’ll get the crew on board to look ‘er over and hopefully you’ll be boarding soon.

Wait? Trading one plane already in maintenance for another going into maintenance? Why was the first plane in maintenance? Did they have time to get it fixed before it was recalled to active duty?

An hour later, we board. Hubby and I are sitting in the front row and I hear the pilots talking. They’re discussing the above-mentioned eensy-weensy mechanical issue. First one says: I hope we don’t have to deal with something like that again. The other: The day is still young…and the flight attendant closes the door to the cockpit.

Can I have my beer now?

Well, as you can see, knock wood, we made it, although the flight attendants had to remain seated for most of the flight due to extreme turbulence and thunderstorms. They got up long enough to hand us our beer with the words, drink it fast, before diving back to their seats.

I chugged mine and then chugged my husband’s.

The pilots didn’t so much land the plane as dive onto the runway at the very last minute in between gusts of gale force winds. Seat belts or no seat belts, when they hit the brakes I flew forward into the bulkhead, along with all the carry-on luggage stowed beneath the seats.

But, nice Jewish girl genuflecting, we made it to the ranch, rounded up and doctored a sick cow - nasty bugger nearly killed my husband - and now I’m taking a nap!

Ooh, saw two young movies stars and their entourage as we waited for our plane to be fixed…you will never guess who.

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Tags: Fear of Flying, Montana, movie stars and toilet stalls, Seattle   Posted Holidays, Travel, nature, popular culture |