It’s my birthday today. Sort of bittersweet.
We all have birthdays that give us pause.
I won’t tell you what number mine is, but it’s a milestone and I realize, at last, maybe, that there’s no going back…there is only forward. No do-overs. I sure wouldn’t mind the option of a do-over.
I once sat for a life reading done by a psychic who told me that I’d been born many times, had lived many lives, which I do know is true because…well, because I just do. Apparently, in my very favorite life I was a nun. She said I wasn’t forced into a convent. I was a well-educated woman for the time and I wanted to be a nun. Makes complete and total sense. It explains why my mother’s nickname for me became ‘Sister Theresa’ after she found me inexplicably genuflecting at the age of three, on my knees in some old Catholic church we’d visited in Boston.
The psychic reader explained to me that I don’t have to return to this world over and over again. I have the option of staying in the next, but she said I love the roller coaster ride of this life so much that I keep coming back. If you knew me, you’d understand. My life has been filled with drama and passion and love and hate and death-defying acts. I’ve thrown caution to the wind and packed in a mother fucking ton of living. Someday I’ll be old and frail and nobody will know the tornado that used to be me. Nobody will be left who will remember how many times I screwed up, how crazy-insane-wild I could be, how brave and valiant and loving and neurotic and funny and how if somebody hurt one of my kids or tried to steal my man I unsheathed my claws and bared my teeth like a tigress. No joke.
In Judaism, some rabbis teach that immortality lies in the hearts of those who cherish our memory. Well, if you ask me, that’s a raw deal and a crock of shit. You get what…maybe a generation or two before your memory fades from their consciousness? Judaism emphasizes this life and moral behavior for its own sake, without the cudgel of hell or the idea of a reward in heaven as a pay-off. I happen to agree - you should be good for goodness sake. But I personally believe there is a heaven and it’s damn decent place. I also believe each of us is granted many opportunities. We should make the most of them. Above all, we should cherish the time we are given and the people we love. Yeah, we’re going to mess things up - that’s part of the deal so don’t be too hard on yourself. How else are you going to learn life’s lessons? And make sure to watch Glee and The Big Bang Theory.
So yeah, my birthday today is a mixed bag - happy/sad. Sweet/sour. Lots of changes in store for my family and for me over the next few years. I’m going to Disneyland tomorrow and when I come home, getting the wrist tattoo I’ve wanted for years but couldn’t get because of work. Then it’s on to the mainstream novel - as God is my witness I will get that sucker published! (Yes, I know…Captured sequel first!)
P.S. I was born on a Friday the Thirteenth at five minutes before midnight and the doctor told my mom that if she was superstitious, he could record the time as five minutes after midnight. She replied, “Nah.” I’m glad she did. I love being a Friday the Thirteenth baby.
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April 12th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Many happy returns of the day!
And may not only this life, but those that follow as well, be the stuff legends are made of.
Because every good story starts somewhere. ^_^
April 13th, 2010 at 12:03 am
Now, I don’t usually go for these sort of posts, but this - I’m in the UK, and I’ve just got bleary-eyed out of bed - has really given me pause for thought, a moment to sit back and look at the whirl of my own life. A small but significant epiphany. Many thanks for sharing it Julia.
And have a good birthday!
April 13th, 2010 at 2:00 am
Thanks for sharing, Julia! Happy Birthday! My dad was a 13th April baby, too!
Hope you have a super day.
You’re so right about birthday’s being milestones at time. Interesting about the past lives, too. I was told that I’d been a 5th century bard in Wales in a previous life.
Makes you think sometimes, doesn’t it?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
April 13th, 2010 at 2:39 am
Have a super birthday, Julia.
April 13th, 2010 at 4:00 am
I love your outlook on life! Wishing you a birthday that is as amazing as you are.
April 13th, 2010 at 5:03 am
Happy Birthday Julia. My grandmother’s name was Julia. I really, really miss her, and the sentence you posted saying we have only a generation until our memory is forgotten hit me right in the heart. My son, who was born the year my grandmother died, will never know what a fantastic, wonderful Julia she was. Your post was great, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Have a happy day!
April 13th, 2010 at 5:14 am
Happy birthday to YOU!!!!
April 13th, 2010 at 6:33 am
Happy Birthday dear Julia!!!!!
I love your outlook on life. Too many people don’t do all of those things they have wanted to do all of their lives, you know. I’m certain many die regretting that.
Have a wonderful day, and remember, we get better with age!
:}
April 13th, 2010 at 7:04 am
Happy Birthday Darling! Those milestone birthdays really give us pause. I love your theory and I often wonder if given the choice I’d choose ‘heaven’…whatever that is and doing things all over again as another person. I think I’d like to do it all over again.
April 13th, 2010 at 7:27 am
Happy Birthday! Can’t wait to see the tattoo. We want pictures!
April 13th, 2010 at 8:12 am
Thanks for your many good wishes - I will figure out a way to upload a photo of the tattoo - I might even take someone with me who can take pictures of the process! God almighty, yesterday was a tough day! Today should be better.
April 13th, 2010 at 8:34 am
Happy re-Birthday Julia! Let the new phase begin! I want to hear about your wrist tattoo.
I deliberately chose the 13th for our wedding because I think 13 is a powerful and misunderstood number. It’s always been one of my good luck numbers!
XXOO Kat
April 13th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I know about those kind of bittersweet birthdays… much too often for my taste.
And, being an Aries… well, there must some soul connection. Plus, yep, lots of lives, just not on Earth, most of them, anyway.
April 13th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
HBDTY…HBDTY…HBDDH….HBDTY! I wasn’t ever a nun in a prior life, but I was a soldier, a king, a thief, and a warlock…as well as a priestess, a healer, a female warrior and a mistress. I believe that we must taste every side of life to succeed. All of my lives have been geared to learning the “eternal truth”. I never lived a completely evil life, nor did I live a completely good life. In every life I had a purpose…unfortunately I never knew the entire purpose until I was in the next one. LOL!
Now you know why we get along so well.
April 13th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Happy birthday and have fun at Disneyland.
April 13th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Great post, great blog, Julia. Happy Birthday!
April 13th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Gosh! You all are so nice! I’m not much for shopping but I did go today and got some cute stuff for myself and my girls so I do feel better, but it’s been a weird few weeks!
April 13th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Happy Birthday…and who counts them??
A nun? No romance story there…one of your past lives should have been a jet-setting heiress…lots of story ideas!
Marianne/April