Sorry, no real post today.
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Here’s an update on our boy. He’s improved slightly with massive doses of steroids. We don’t know if this will get him over the hump so he can fight what appears to be more of a viral infection or if the slight improvement is just the steroids talking. Hubby was man enough to stay up all night with Louie. I hit the wall yesterday evening and when he got home from work, I was huddled in a corner sobbing and incoherent. I wish I could be stronger, I mean for Christ’s sake, I’m a hospice nurse, I work with dying people, and I’m really really good at what I do. You’d think I’d be able to handle this situation. I suck. I just suck.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll have better news. Much love, Julia
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June 10th, 2010 at 9:21 am
You’re possibly losing your companion, friend, confident, hiking partner, savior, soul-buddy, and you think you should be stronger??? Who the fuck are you kidding? Cry, woman, cry hard. You’ve been wanting to and you’ve been holding back to be strong. After you’re done, dry up so you can keep vigil with a calmer mind.
You are amazingly strong and Louie is holding on for you because he adores you. There’s a REASON he does and it has everything to do with your heart.
Here’s a thought: have they addressed heart failure? It could explain the fluid.
June 10th, 2010 at 11:21 am
*fingers crossed* And what Mia said.
June 10th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
You don’t suck. As a nurse, you can distance yourself because the sick are not your family. In this instance, Louis is your baby and I can totally understand how you feel. I have a cat and would feel the same way.
June 11th, 2010 at 1:47 am
Oh sweetie, you’re caring for someone close to your heart. You don’t suck. You’re human. He’s your baby and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through right now. Many hugs.