Julia Barrett's World

Enough with the nicey nice nice posts. I’m a MILF! It’s official.

Pardon me for a moment while I paraphrase Kohelet, or as he’s known by his more common name, Ecclesiastes:

Vanity…vanity…all is vanity.

I admit it…I am as vain as they come. A couple weeks ago I headed over to Whole Foods and I got the look…in fact I got several looks…you know the head down, eyes up appraising look, the interested double take…got it from three guys having coffee in front of the store -sitting at three different tables. I called my daughter and I said, “I am so vain…I tell you, I am so fucking vain. The day I no longer get those looks is the day I hang it up. Does that sound awful?”

Like mother like daughter, she replied, “No, mom, I totally get it. I feel exactly the same way.” Thank you Jesus!

I’m not vain in the plastic surgery or makeup or short dresses or manicured nails way. Never had plastic surgery, don’t wear makeup, hardly own a dress and I bite my nails. But I am vain in the I like the attention of the opposite sex kind of way.

Follow me here…

1. Two days ago, my husband and I went out to our favorite local dive with a couple friends and I ran into a guy I used to hike with…he’s maybe ten, fifteen years my junior and hot. And married. And I like his wife. A lot. He gave me a hug and took down my new cell phone number so he could call me about going on a hike.

2. Yesterday afternoon, I had to go for a mammo because there have been some issues lately that I am not ready to discuss until I have the good word - anyway - the little Hispanic mammo tech, as she’s fitting my small breast into the machine of squish torture asks me if I have kids. Grimacing, I say, yeah, three. She replies, three kids! You are one hot mama! You are what my sons would call a MILF! I burst out laughing while she giggles and tells me to hold my breath and says - See, now it don’t hurt so much!

3. Last night, my old friend (see no. 1) sent me a text and then he called. He said - I was so happy to see you the other day! I felt like a teenager again. You look so good, I wanted to jump your bones. His words rendered me speechless, which doesn’t happen very often, but I finally said…we’re both married buddy. He said, Yeah, I know, but damn girl!

4. It’s called the stress-related don’t eat, don’t sleep, exercise excessively, along with a lot of hot, hard middle of the night lovin’ from your sweetie school of MILFing.

5. I am gloriously happily married to love of my life and the best fuck I ever had so ain’t nuthin’ ever gonna happen, but damn girl…I’m gonna enjoy my MILFing while I still got it!

In other news, my good MILF bud, Mia Watts, has a new release and if you head over to Resplendence you can pick it up along with any book you like and get a discount in the bargain - so go! Type in: Mia20 and receive 20% off your book purchase!!!

http://www.resplendencepublishing.com/

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I may be a very weird person

but I never, not once, allowed my children to watch a horror or slasher film. Gratuitous killing was and is not welcome in my house. Now…on the other hand, if there was a good film that included sex and/or adult language, that was a different story. By a certain age, after discussion, my kids were allowed to watch a movie that contained sex.

I have never understood the appeal of slasher/torture/horror films. Yes, I know…studies indicate that in the same way amusement park thrill rides appeal to us, we like scary movies. We like to be scared out of our wits. We love that adrenaline rush. But I have never understood how a society can accept and even glorify violence on the one hand and be so incredibly prudish about sex and nudity on the other. Not talking about porn here - not in any way shape or form. I will not even go there. Porn, in its various manifestations, is another subject altogether and I am not a fan.

I flat out don’t get it. Allowing small children to immerse themselves in violent movies, television shows and video games is okay, but a naked body is not?

My children are now adults. Young adults, but adults. I am pleased to say that none of them has any interest in slasher films. They read, they play computer games that do not involve murder, mayhem and violence against women and they watch great cinema. I’m not the perfect parent, but in this one thing, I did achieve my goal.

I repeat, I really don’t get it. Violence good. Sex bad? Don’t. Get. It.

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