“I’d like to hear some other writers’ thoughts on just how much the hero can participate in the damsel in distress’s rescue without detracting from her power and ability to rescue herself. And how much is she allowed to resist his assistance before she becomes annoying?”
Great question! How do you all do it? How does your heroine stand on her own two feet, yet still give the hero his due? In other words, how does she kick ass, but not his? Or how does she kick ass, but without emasculating our beloved Alpha guy?
Feminist that I am, I place my hero and heroine on an equal footing - equal emotional, psychological, intellectual footing. Yes, the typical alpha male is stronger than the female, unless of course, she either possesses supernatural abilities or special training, or he is ill or injured. But that doesn’t mean she can’t hold her own.
An example - say, for instance, that our heroine has been attacked…let’s say we’re speaking of a historical romance (or an historical romance), and let’s say she’s about to be injured, carried off, assaulted, and our hero, who doesn’t yet know her, happens upon the scene and comes to her rescue. One thing our hero could do to, once he carries her to safety, is offer her a safe haven and training - or, if our hero doesn’t offer her weapons training, one of his men (i.e. an important supportive secondary character) could, or better yet, the heroine could insist that she be allowed to train so that she can defend herself against any further attack.
You all must have dozens and dozens of other examples!
I look at this dilemma in a different way….it’s OK for the hero to save the heroine…in fact, it’s downright, well, heroic! To balance this, the heroine also needs to perform a heroic act. When I’m working on a WIP, I make sure that both the hero and heroine have heroic actions in my story. Some may involve each other’s well-being, and some may involve other characters. Both the hero and heroine need to have elements of strength and courage, as well as flaws and weakness.
One way to handle this is to make sure that the hero and heroine each have their own area of expertise…put them in some situations where the hero is clearly set up to handle what’s going on, and then in other situations where the heroine is the obvious choice to take care of things.
If they’re each strong in their own area and each helps the other out with their weaknesses, they’re partners.
I like for the hero and the heroine to work together. Like Penelope said. It’s good when the hero rescues her but she also needs to find her own moment. As for your example, I’d prefer to see the heroine speak up and demand to be trained instead of the hero suggesting it to her. I do love a good damsel in distress story though.
One of the ways you can do it is to have the hero do all the heavy lifting while the heroine is the crafty one - she has this moment of insight that he didn’t and because of it he’s astounded by her, mesmerized by her, enthralled, captivated…well, you know.
I enjoy a story where the heroine ‘discovers’ her strengths during her relationship with the hero. It’s okay if she needs some help as long as she developes into a strong character who ultimately is on equal emotional and intellectual footing.
There are many species of animal that display little difference between the sexes. That’s certainly not true of humans! Our biology proves we highly value the separate but equal doctrine. The sexes each have a long history of specialized skills to offer the other. I love a story that plays up the differences in each sex’s approach to a problem. I really dislike mushy, over-sensitive heros and slutty, insensitive heroines. In a romance, if not always in real life, I want to see men and women honoring their differences and being the best humans they can be.
XXOO Kat
I wasn’t really sure how I balanced it out until I read the replies and was like “oh, yeah”. I often have the heroine prove her worth in her own scene. Then when they hit the trouble together I usually give her the brains and him the brawn. It’s an over simplification, but that’s the gist of it.
Yes, Nina, very valid. I often do the same thing, but I like my heroes to be pretty brainy too - my heroines just a bit brainier!
Kat, I do so love the differences between men and women - our separate gifts and abilities make us quite a whole when we come together.
Me too, Tessie! I did that with Come Back to Me - my heroine is a mess for so long, but it’s not so much the hero who helps her, it’s just that she hits bottom and claws her way back up.
Tina - LOL! You gotta love crafty!
Good point, Delilah - yes, she should stand up for herself.
Hi Madeleine! Thanks for stopping by. I definitely agree with your suggestion. It’s how my hero and heroine in my coming release work things out - they become true partners.
Heya, Penny! It is nice to be saved once in a while, yes? I especially like your last statement - strength, courage, flaws and weaknesses - that’s what makes us so very human.
In an adult fantasy I’m editing the heroines strength is a huge part of the plot. Both the hero and heroine are elite warriors. Yet, they save each other in different ways. There’s no chance the female is weak, but she needs help in other ways and he’s there by her side. Okay, he tries to be but conflict gets in the way.
So a hero can still save the heroine, and the heroine can save him right back.
I have a current WIP where the heroine is in a struggle because of the hero. She has had to become strong to move on and clear her name. In my story she kicks ass including the hero since he deserves it. It is like the slap she’s waited to give him but for her it is a bit of a ass kicking…
Maybe the guys could just be one person helping another.
Ciara and Savannah - I like the sounds of both your WIPs!
Steph - Yes. I would think with M/M it should be guys helping one another. With M/F, same thing.