As some of you know, my Scottish friend, Nigel, tells me great jokes. And it’s his Scottish brogue that makes his jokes doubly funny (and sexy even though that’s not always his intent).
I have another great joke teller for you - Tom Stronach - Sex in a brothel, Scottish style. It’s a must-read.
I grew up with a ‘punny’ family. Over the years I’ve grown so immune to puns they roll off my back like water off a duck. I have to be elbowed in the ribs to even hear them. But I love a good joke.
So I was on a Southwest Airlines jet yesterday, stuck on the tarmac in Denver while we waited for a gate to open up, the the flight attendant, in his glorious Dallas, Texas accent, told us a joke - (Make sure to read in Texan, please.)
“So a preacher-man died and went to heaven. He marched himself up to St. Peter and the pearly gates to receive his reward.”
St. Peter welcomed him to the heavenly realm and said, “Here you go, here’s your reward.”
The preacher looked down and he saw a two-room shack. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Down the road a piece was a grand mansion. It belonged to a taxi driver.
The preacher said to St. Peter, “I preached all my life. I preached thousands of sermons to many congregations. And this is what I get? A two room shack while he gets a mansion?”
“Well, preacher,” St. Peter replied, “when you preached your sermons, people slept. When he drove his cab, people prayed.”
***
So remember the Thanksgiving Blog Hop and I’m still away! Be good, ya’ll. Hey, what’s the plural of ya’ll? All ya’ll.
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HAHAHAHA!
Okay, Julie, try this one in a hillbilly accent:
Billy Bob and Bobby Bill decide to go into business. They bought hay for two bucks a bale in Kentucky, loaded up their pick ‘em truck and drove across the river to sell the hay for two bucks a bale in Ohio. After a few weeks of this, Billy Bob sez, “Ya know, Bobby Bill, we’re working real hard, selling all our hay, but damn boy, I think we might be losing money. How you figger that?”
Bobby Bill scratched his head, spit and thought real hard. “You’re right. We got to get us a bigger truck.”
lol. I’m one of those guilty ones falling asleep during sermons. Wish I had a joke to share, but everyone in real life knows how horrible I am with them. I end up going into way too much detail and ruining the joke.
I’m with you, Delilah- can’t tell a joke to save my life. I don’t know why it , either; I get all the words right and still… no laughs. I’m better at sarcastic one-liners, which I’m not sure speaks well for my character.
Thanks for the joke, Julia.
Yeah ya’ll, I can’t tell a joke either. I can point out something funny. I can be sarcastic. Jokes are tough.
Jaye - LMAO! But it’s gotta be told in a hillbilly accent! Thanks!
Poor St. Peter. What a job! S
Yeah, Steph. St. Peter gets to be the butt of many jokes - or the straight man!
Hahahaha! I’m terrible at telling jokes.
LOL! Love it (and Jaye’s too)!