Team Shane and I’m stickin’ to him! Updated! Double Updated! Triple Updated!

All right, this is the Penny and Team Rick vs. Jaye and Team Darryl vs. Julia and Team Shane.

Bring it!

Penny and Jaye insist that Shane is one scary dude, Penny says he’s about to blow up like a volcano. Well I say, hah! Hah! Hah! He sees the world the way it really is. And I knew Shayne would save that bratty TSTL Lori and get blamed for it. Lori is trying to manipulate Rick into killing Shane, all because she feels guilty about boinking him… repeatedly. She knows damn well that baby could just as easily be Shane’s as Rick’s. If I have to hear one more time about how Shane left Rick to die in the hospital… GMAFB. He did not. It’s always Shane who saves her worthless ass and she thanks Rick.

Hey, Rick went on a suicide mission to rescue Merle Dixon, who was no better and probably a whole hellava lot worse than the two men he just shot down in cold blood. Let’s face it, certain kinds of people can get you killed in a zombie apocalypse. Merle is, or was, the kind of man who can get you killed or will leave you to die for sure. So was Ed Peletier. Believe me, I cheered when Shane beat the crap out of him for beating the crap out of his wife and the other women. Ed was a no-good, lazy SOB, nothing more than dead weight. Worse than dead weight. Good for one thing and one thing only - Zombie bait.

Hershel Greene is the kind of man who will get you killed because he doesn’t know Denial is a river in Egypt. Rick, did walkers eat your brain? Tolerating one man’s delusion is a luxury you cannot afford, especially when walkers are setting up housekeeping a stone’s throw from your camp. Wrestling zombies with snare poles… Pffffaaaah!

And I’m going to say this, because Shane is still reeling from what he did to Otis… If he hadn’t shot Otis in the knee and left him to draw off the walkers, they’d both be dead and so would Carl. It’s exactly this sort of existential dilemma that makes The Walking Dead such an exceptional show. What would you do under these circumstances? How do you hold onto your humanity when the world crumbles?

We’ve tried to answer these questions since we first began to record our collective memories. Check out the choices made in Defiance with Daniel Craig, War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise, and even Quigley Down Under with Tom Selleck.

P. S. If I wasn’t so fond of Shayne, it would be Team Darryl for me for sure! ’Cuz he has no qualms about killing walkers. And if he had to survive on his own, by god, he could do it.

P. P. S. I am lovin’ me some Andrea! Girl crush!

From the lips of JW Manus:

In this trio of hunkitude, we have ourselves Rick the hero, Shane the villain and Darryl the anti-hero. All three men are interesting and none are quite to be trusted, which makes them especially interesting, because you can never be 100% certain about what they’ll do in any given situation. Except in one regard: Sacrifice.

See, Rick, being the hero, is self-sacrificing. It makes him stupid at times because he *wants* to be a good guy. He carries a self-image that he is a good guy, so he tries to make conscious decisions about right and wrong, best and worst. It made him a great cop, but not such a great Alpha male/leader. Because when he is faced with a moral decision, he has to *think* about it. Sometimes he can think quickly, and he’s actually at his best when he is forced to think quickly. When he has time to ponder, his “goodness” works against him and reveals he’s not a true Alpha. For instance, Lori’s confession about sleeping with Shane. A true Alpha male would have gone after Shane and kicked his ass into the next apocalypse. Rick’s good husband material, but in a zombie apocalypse, while he’ll save your ass in the middle of a fight, in the long run he’ll get you killed while he’s struggling with his good intentions.

Shane is the villain by virtue of the fact that he’s perfectly willing to sacrifice others. He’s got poor impulse control and no true moral compass. He doesn’t think about right and wrong, it’s always Me or Them. He is an Alpha male, but a dangerous one, mostly because he covets. His obsession with Lori is less about Lori herself (if he were a decent human being, he’d walk away-hell, Andrea is right there, ready and willing to take his bad boy self any way he wants to give it) and more about the fact that Lori belongs to Rick. Proof of that is Carl. He wants Carl, too. Not because he loves the kid. If he did, he wouldn’t do anything to interfere with the boy’s relationship with his father. He wants Carl because he’s Rick’s kid and Shane covets what Rick has. Sure, he’s a tough survivor and he’ll always land on his feet. I’d never trust him. I’d always be wondering who’d kill me first: the zombies or Shane.

Which brings me to my boy, Darryl, a true anti-hero. It’s not in his nature to sacrifice anybody, himself included (unless it’s for true love, in which case he will sacrifice himself along with as many bad guys as he can manage). The secret to loving anti-heroes is being able to see past their churlishness and disregard for societal niceties. Darryl doesn’t give a shit about social mores. He doesn’t waste brain cells on “right” and “wrong.” He sees no need to get along or be nice or make anyone comfortable. What he does have is a code. It’s deeply ingrained. It’s what sent him into the woods day after day looking for Sophia. Not because he likes kids or feels sentimental or even that he cares about Carol (and I think he’s madly in love with her). It’s because he’s Darryl and that’s what Darryl does. He’s also a hardass. Look at the situation with Merle. If Darryl were weaker, he’d waste his time trying to get revenge on Rick and the black guy for leaving Merle handcuffed to the pipe. Darryl knows Merle brought it on himself. Killing people for revenge out of brotherly love (especially given that Merle wasn’t all that loveable to begin with) isn’t going to help anybody. Earning his trust and loyalty is damned difficult, and for most people it’s too difficult (their loss), but worth it. He’s the kind of guy who’d battle gods for the woman he loves. He’s no Alpha male-it’s not in his nature to stoop to that kind of competitiveness-he’s pure Rogue, no more interested in leading than he is in following. If you’re surrounded by zombies, good old Rick would tell you to run while he holds them off, and we all know exactly what Shane would do, but Darryl would find some clever-assed way to get both of you to safety. Then he’d growl if you’re dumb enough to say thanks.

Go, Team Darryl.

My answer to Jaye - You’ve captured the three archetypes perfectly. I can’t imagine expressing the tri-chotomy of Rick/Shane/Darryl any better. And… in a nutshell, it’s men like Shane who are my weakness. In one world, he’s a hero - he wants to be a hero, but when everything goes to hell in a handbasket, he’s a despot. He is, however, a despot who can keep you alive.

You could not be more correct about Shane’s one weakness - he covets what Rick has - a wife and son - and he probably wanted Rick’s life for years. Complicating the picture is Lori, who in her heart of hearts desires a bad boy but instead married a good man. She knows for a fact that Shane can keep her alive and Carl alive and she’s pushing Rick to be more like Shane. But first he has to kill his friend. It’s an existential test, you see. But if Rick were to actually kill Shane, it would eat him alive. The act would destroy him and his marriage - zombie reference…

Even Carl looks to Shane for salvation. His young boy brain realizes his dad might just think a little too long before acting and thus get them killed.

If Shane could get Lori out of his head, he’d be all the better for it.

Now, Darryl is another animal altogether. You’ve nailed him. Darryl’s role as the anti-hero has expanded beautifully this season, and the actor has run with it. I find myself falling for that - I don’t give a shit what the rest of you idiots are blathering on about - hillbilly harder and harder with each episode.

The world according to Penelope:

Team Rick here! OK, I’ll admit that Rick has a savior issue, but still….I like the fact that he isn’t leaving folks out there to die. Hershel is about to surprise you….he just cast his denial aside, picked up a gun and turned into a survivalist. Although I wonder how he is going to deal w/ his farm getting over-run by Walkers, because I have a bad feeling that is about to happen soon.

I think I’m the only person alive who does not hate Lori. Yes, that was a TSTL moment when she got in the car to find Rick (and didn’t tell anyone….d’oh!). However, I thought she was pretty fierce fighting off the zombies. She is a fighter, too, just like her husband. And she has compassion for others. If she had to do something to save Shane, I think she would. At least I hope she would.

Bring on the zombies, baby!

My answer to Penny - No, I refuse to cut Lori any slack because she’s dishonest with both Shane and Rick. Lori is manipulative. Yes, she’s a fighter and a survivor, but she has a great deal in common with Shane. If you think about her memories of the day Rick was shot, before the apocalypse, she was considering leaving him. And Rick admitted to Shane in the very first scene of The Walking Dead, that he and Lori fought all the time.

Rick is the prototypical good guy. Good guys finish last. There is a reason for that saying. IMO Rick and Shane would both be better off distancing themselves from her. I’m telling you, if Otis had been present when Lori arrived at Hershel’s farm she would have shot him herself.

From Jaye:

Penny, I personally think the writers did a poor job developing the female characters in the first two season. Lori was a “love interest,” serving as conflict between Rick and Shane, and Andrea was a victim-oh let us watch her fall apart when her sis gets eaten and then the whole I wanna die thing after Atlanta so Dale can worry and fret. It wasn’t until they intro’d Maggie that they figured out girls can have fun, too. Now Lori and Andrea are getting interesting. I’m shocked the writers are missing such a big opportunity to develop real conflict between Lori and Andrea over Shane. They need a romance writer on that show to really kick it into gear. I mean, Andrea wants Shane, but Shane wants Lori, and that’s got to be just driving splinters into Andrea’s soul. Especially now that Lori is showing her evil side. Potential is great for two Alpha females battling it out.

My response to Jaye - Yes! Bring it on. The new and improved Andrea vs. the TSTL but mean Lori. Somebody needs to call Lori out and I think it should be Andrea. I am enjoying the women on the show much more this season. They have been given meatier roles! LOL!

Penny’s response to Jaye:

Good point, Jaye. There is a potential love triangle here, and the writers are too busy watching ESPN highlights of Jeremy Lin to get it. How ’bout this set-up? Shane is in a life-threatening situation, and Lori’s real feelings for him finally surface. We got to see just an inkling of that when Shane confronted her last episode. She DID love him, and she is consumed by guilt. Now that would be interesting….instead of her just being a big old bitch, she is torn between two men. She has to admit that Shane (even though he is a volcano about to explode) is a courageous and loyal man, and someone you want in your corner during the beardless zombie apocalypse.

Andrea did have a few really good moments (when she was cheated of her “death-wish” and pissed off about it), but now she is being wasted. Except for her hair. Which is giving me hair envy every time I watch that show.

My response to Penny - Oooh, I like it! We should be consulting on this show!

From Jaye:

Penny, I see this crap in tv shows, movies and books all the time. The female characters are assigned roles-love interest, sex kitten, mom, wise grandma, ballbuster-but they’re not developed as *people*. They’re used as props to make the male characters more interesting. The one show that did the females roles the best, IMHO, was LOST. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the female characters were interesting from the get go.

The one thing I truly dislike about TWD is that the writers seem to have a serious problem developing and maintaining multiple story lines. When they do focus, they’re good, but all too often story lines just fizzle. Or characters act uncharacteristically for a plot point (like Lori driving off by herself. Really?). I’m going to be really pissed if they use the emergence of Lori’s evil side as a mere device to heighten conflict between Rick and Shane. And they are so wasting Andrea. She went through the fire and came out strong. Wouldn’t you love to see her challenge Rick for leadership? I would.

Hee hee, we’ve taken over Julia’s blog. That’ll learn her to toss out a challenge then go to bed.

My response to Jaye - Andrea is knocking it out of the park. She is leadership material, no agendas, Alpha Female. Take over the pack, Andrea. You’ve earned it. I’m waiting for someone to call Lori out on this latest stupidity and her manipulative behavior. And it can’t be Dale because he’s old school, coddles them too much.

From Penny:

I totally agree about the TSTL move by Lori. That made no sense. She would NEVER leave her son and go off on a cockamamie (just looked that word up….it is the correct spelling) errand like that. And not tell anyone. What was the point? Another reason to be beholden to Shane who saved her? But really, she saved her own damned self, didn’t she? She killed the zombies and was walking home. What was the point of that idiocy? She would never leave her son alone like that. And to show us that Daryl refused to be an “errand boy”? But then that was never really discussed again. Hmm.

We need to do a “studio invasion” and show up with some nerf guns, take over the writer’s room, and rewrite the next episode with some kicky-ass feminist action. Yee haw! (I have a large stash of nerf guns in my basement, just in case).

My response to Penny and Jaye - Lori did it because she was pissed off at Rick for once again sacrificing himself to save someone else who had put them all in danger.

From Jaye (soon I’ll just say J or P or me):

We so need to stage a writer coup. I’ll bring the hounds. We can loose them (hmn, maybe not. They’d be chasing the Nerf balls, so never mind).

One, Lori. Now that her inner bitch has been bared, I say she goes after Shane herself. But an even nastier bitch stands in her way: Andrea. First we need Lori trying to get Andrea on her side, but Andrea likes bad boy Shane and thinks he better suits her needs than Rick does. So those two go head to head in all out war, no wimping out or letting the boys handle the dirty stuff. For comic relief, Dale running around flapping his hands and whimpering, “Oh my, how awful!” Then a secondary story line with Maggie going head to head with Herschel. Let Glenn be the love interest, the object to be fought over. I think Maggie could run that farm and keep it safe from zombies as well as or better than Herschel ever could. No, she’d definitely do a better job.

We start planting some real seeds with Carol, too. So far hers has been a solid victim role and that’s just ridiculous. How wonderfully twisted it would be if she set out to “tame” Darryl, which he will resist with every fiber of his being, even while he’s madly in love with her. I want to *see* her wake up one day and say, “No more.” No more abuse, no more victimhood, no more whining. Let her talk Darryl into teaching her how to be a zombie killing machine. That would be cool.

Dear Jaye - I’m laughing so hard I can barely type. Yes and yes and yes. This would be a fantastic direction for the show. Just like Andrea found herself, Carol needs to do the same thing. And I am on board with Maggie. Unfortunately, like Penny, I think the farm will soon be overrun and I’m concerned about Maggie’s survival.

P:

Oh, craptastic! I LOVE the idea of Carol becoming a bad-ass zombie killing machine, with Daryl right by her side. Hoot! Hoot! Hoot! She says, “Teach me.” And he picks up a weapon and puts it in her hand. Swoooooooooning!

Cripes. I hope they have a really hot sex scene. Well, are they gonna have a really hot sex scene or what? Come on, Jaye….tell me!

J:

Oh no, much much hotter would be Carol and Darryl yearning for each other, but Carol locks herself in “I am not a victim and I will destroy all zombies” role to allow herself even a touch of softness. Darryl, being Darryl, can’t help but help her become the zombie-nator. So the two of them can’t stay away from each other, while every little touch burns and every gaze smolders, while both fight what they are feeling. It could melt the TV set.

But a hot sex scene? Andrea and Rick. What better way to wound her rival and weaken Rick than for Andrea to seduce him? Can’t you see her sashaying past Lori, saying, “Gee, hope I don’t get knocked up by that super sperm, too.”

P:

I can see it happening. Imagine this scenario….Shane almost dies. Lori runs to him and comforts him. Rick finally sees that Lori really does have feelings for Shane, and it drives him out of his mind. Andrea also sees this tender moment between Shane and Lori, and she is crest-fallen. She realizes that Shane will never love her. Both she and Rick get rip-roaring drunk together to drown their sorrows. And end up boinking each other senseless.

Then, Rick finally grows a kick-ass beard. The End.

My response to P and J - No, Andrea is hands down the better woman for Shayne. She tells it like it is. And she could kick Lori’s ass. Double Team Andrea here!

P:

Julia’s up! Good morning! Or afternoon! My son woke up at noon….it’s winter vacation week in New England.

You are loving Shane and Andrea, and not lovin’ Lori or Rick too much. I am still not ready to vilify Lori yet….I’m hoping she will shape up. I agree w/ Jaye that Rick isn’t an alpha male leader. He’s more of a thinking man/beta hero, but I’m not sure that is such a bad thing in this new world order. It’s not black and white anymore. Not zombie/monster vs. survivors. It’s survivors vs. survivors….there are plenty of non-zombies who are the real monsters in this world, and a man who can think, and strategize, and plan, is just as big an asset as one who shoots first, questions later. (Shane, Volcano Head…hee hee heee!) Anyhow, I’m still cheering for Team Rick! And it has nothing to do with the scruffy beard he’s working on.

From Casey Wyatt: (laugh out loud priceless!)

Wow. Just got some popcorn, milk duds and a large diet soda to watch this showdown. I land on Shane’s side with the whole Otis thing. He clearly saw “Zombieland”. Rule #1 - Cardio! Otis wouldn’t have survived long term. At least he died for a noble cause. Funny - I’ll be addressing Downton Abby vs. The Walking Dead on my blog tomorrow! We must all have zombies on the brain. (Brains. . . brains. . . )

Me - Casey ICAM. Rule #1…Cardio. Otis was doomed from the start. I’m coming to your site tomorrow!

From Mat Nastos - a guy’s perspective:

I’m Team Shane all the way. Rick is too much of a wuss and Lori is horrible. I want to see the show turn into a buddy film with Daryl and Shane!

Yes, Mat, a buddy story. I could go for that. Shane and Darryl join forces!

P says:

Um, hello, you guys DO realize you are cheering for a wackadoodle murdering psychopath who is a volcano about to blow, right? Right? Whatever happened to Leave No Man Behind? Huh? The new motto is Leave Your Bud Behind As Zombie Food?

Team Rick! Team Rick!

Me - I likes me wackadoodles!