Penny, over at her site, Penny Romance, blogged about Number Two pencils, in addition to discussing her usual drinking, carousing, mermaid headbands and general mayhem making.
Every single time I think about Number Two Pencils, I relive a particular day in my life. The memories stand out in crystal clear relief against the rest of mi loca vida. And I’ll tell ya, that’s tough to do.
There I was, barely 15, left in charge of my two younger sisters, ages 13 and 10, and the dog, while my parents headed off to Hawaii. It’s like this… in Iowa you could get a license at 14 if necessary. I got my license so I could drive my sisters to Hebrew school twice a week - a 70 mile round trip. But anywho… that’s beside the point.
What did I do the night before the SATs, (which by the way were an hour’s drive away because I was taking them early because I planned to graduate early from high school)? Well I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing the night before. Yeah. Me. The bad old days.
I came to about 40 minutes before the test. Panic-stricken, I flew to the car, drove maybe a hundred miles an hour, ran into the school, a school in another city to which I had never been- the school that is- sprinted down the hallway, and arrived just as they locked the door to the testing site.
Mortified, horrified, I grabbed the nearest attendant and begged and pleaded for admission. I mean I literally got down on my knees. I needed to take that test because I was leaving the country before the next test would be offered. She was willing, praise the lord, but when she asked for ID, I realized I’d run from the house so fast I’d left my purse behind- along with my driver’s license and my SAT admission form. I had my car keys, the clothes on my back, a pair of flip-flops, and the birthmark on my upper thigh, which I offered to show her. That’s it.
I sat on the floor, my back against the locked door, racked by sobs, you know, those kind of hiccough sobs you simply cannot control. I figured the police would arrive any minute to haul me away, but no, a miracle…a miracle! They let me in. Seriously, we are talking major divine intervention here. Like the entire Supreme Court of angels took pity on me and opened the door.
All eyes followed me as I searched for a vacant desk. Unwashed face streaked with tears, unkempt hair sticking out every which way - there might as well have been a big ‘L’ branded on my forehead, my loser-ness was that obvious. The attendant handed me the test and it hit me. It so totally hit me. I didn’t have two Number Two pencils. I didn’t even have one Number Two pencil.
The dam burst again and tears flowed. But once more, the angels took pity on me and the attendant handed me two extra pencils.
At his order, I slit open my test and I stared. My mind was a complete and total blank. I couldn’t even read. That’s when I knew it hadn’t been wise to do sumthin’ sumthin’ the night before the SATs.
Man, talk about talking myself down. I did manage to complete the tests - Math and Language (English). Aced the Language portion with a perfect score. Tanked on the math section.
So yeah, the mention of Number Two pencils does it to me every single time. Let this be a lesson to you. Do as I say, not as I do.
By the way, Jaye Manus, if you’re listening, I watched a weird-ass horror movie staring never here-to-fore mentioned actor Bruce Campbell - Bubba Ho-Tep. I couldn’t believe it. You just told me who he is yesterday. Sweet!
I graduated high school a year earlier. I don’t have a story like yours though. Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out had I stayed that extra year.
For Christ’s sake, Julia! You got a perfect score on the Language section after all that? Even if I got 10 hours of sleep and was tutored by Shakespeare, I still wouldn’t get a perfect score. You are ridiculous, woman.
I am totally weirded out right now. I got the same score on my SAT - perfect language and a horrid math score (and without the horror you went through). Aaaaaand I have the movie Bubba-hotep. My friend gave it to me for my birthday two years ago. Did you seriously not know who Bruce Campbell is? Never saw him in, Evil Dead? Army of Darkness? Spiderman? Xena?
Heh, Julia. That’s a horrifying story, but a funny one, too. Gee, wonder where the fodder for your stories comes from…
Bruce is a pure delight. He’s like your boyfriend’s goofy brother. Adorable, full of jokes, kind of sexy even though you can’t really take him seriously. And there’s always a sense he’s a lot smarter than he acts, so you best watch out because he’s probably up to something.
OMG! What an awful experience. I know it was a different time, but I have to say the adults let you down… That was too much responsibility for a 15 year old to shoulder.
I had something similar with a proficiency test and legal emancipation, which I had to take because I’d missed so much school and was living as an adult at 16… bad idea.
XXOO Kat
I always hated tests and no matter how much I would study I would have a panic attack and forget it all.
I know I shouldn’t laugh at others misfortune, sorry BUT LOOK AT YOU NOW……..
Me, never any good at tests, so never bothered, think that’s why after paying about £7,000.00 to take a degree course in criminology I gave up after 3 years as I knew I would never be able to sit there for the final exams….. crazy
and Bruce, love him as the foil in Burn Notice which I dip into from time to time
Hey Tom - can’t sit still, huh? I have a love/hate relationship with tests. Don’t even talk to me about physics, trig, calculus and any sort of weird equation. My brain stops processing. However I whipped thru Organic Chem with bells on!
Laugh away honey. I do.
Hi Savannah. I have two kids who panic during tests. Sucks.
Hey ya, Kat! Honey, I was taking care of two grandmothers and two little sisters from the age of 12. This is why you and I have so much in common! Ooooooh, tests….
Jaye, I have so damn much fodder. Including meeting a supernatural being - either angel or demon, don’t know which - in the Sinai desert. Gotta tell his story one of these days.
I’d seen Bruce everywhere, but had no idea what his name was until you told me. I don’t pay attention. It’s like my husband looks at ads - I don’t. I don’t even notice ads in magazines.
I know Casey - we are twins separated at birth! Yes, I saw Bruce Campbell but didn’t know his name!
Yeah, Penny - neener neener neener! Too bad the math score sucked.
Who knows, Amber. I hated my high school so I didn’t care.
WOW that sounds really horrific! I wouldn’t even want to see another No.2 Pencil in my life lol. I am a really bad tester because I get really bad test anxiety! You on the other hand were doing stuff the night before, went through all of that, and still made a perfect score…. you are SUPER WOMAN
Thanks for sharing this!!!
Kayla, never ever behave like me.
Tom’s comment is right on-look at you now!
Perhaps adversity builds a better person.
XXOO Kat
Kat, look at us all! Aren’t we sumthin!