I married him for his big…
MUSCLES!
I think men can be men, women can be women, gay men can be gay men, lesbians can be lesbians, bi people can be all bi, asexual people can be asexual, transgender people can be transgender, nudists can be nudists (I just don’t want to play volleyball with them), dogs will be dogs, cats will be cats (and they secretly rule the world and we are their minions - This cat has a history of violence! Sorry, that 911 call was just toooooo funny. I’m thinking the cat had connections to organized crime.) But why, in the name of Political Correctness, would you try to turn my husband into a woman?
He came home from this all day conference with a ‘gift bag’. OMG! The ‘gifts’ were so damn girly I cringed and I’m a girl.
First he had this lacy paper place mat- all pink and green. It had his name on it, surrounded by flowers. And I asked, “Why on earth did you bring this home?”
And he said, “They made me.”
And then he had this Beautiful Chocolate Rose. I’m serious. It was in this long silky black box and it said on the label- Beautiful Chocolate Rose. Which we are not eating, by the way, because I have a rule - never ever eat anything that also says made in China.
And then he had this little packet of pink rose soap. Like… seriously, six little soaps in the shape of rose blossoms that dissolve in your bath water and smell like super powered chemical roses. Nauseating.
And then he had this box or book or box. This hollow little book covered with roses and filled with pastel candies. I don’t eat pastel anything. Gross! It’s something I might, maybe, if desperate, give a four year old niece who is partial to frilly dresses. But probably not. Maybe I’d fill it with cute beads before I gave it as a gift, but the pastel candies have got to go.
And then they gave him a mini rose bush. No kidding. A little rose bush in a little pink bucket.
Now I’m not saying my husband needed blue stuff- Alls I’m saying is he is not a woman. In the name of sensitivity he does not have to be a woman. In the name of sensitivity I don’t want him to be a woman. Like I said, I married him for his big…
MUSCLES.
The funny thing is that when I met my husband (me camper/he counselor) he was teaching a class entitled: Sensitivity Training. Yeah, he was. He’s a very sensitive macho guy. But what hooked me was that running no-look shirtless catch he made in the outfield in the camper/counselor softball game. And his big…
MUSCLES.
I married a man. Don’t try to change him, please.
You gotta love the effort but he must have a lotta………..muscle. (just sayin)
Wow…did he go to the wrong conference? Was he at a romance writer’s conference.
Seriously though, those gifts are odd.
Hee hee hee! That is hilarious. Know your audience!
LMAO! The only thing I like is the rose bush
Yeah, I’ll find a spot for the rosebush, AD!
I know my husband, Penny. I cannot believe he had to go this girly retreat.
No, it was a work-related retreat, Amber. I guess the organizers thought everyone should be female.
Gotta love that… muscle, Ray. But he was nice enough to take it all in his stride.
Funny;)
Where was that conference. I wouldn’t have minded that gift bag:)
I need a LOVE button for this post. No really, I do. I want to paste this to the office wall of stupid HR employees who confuse sensitive with emasculated. Men can be sensitive men and still be MEN.
Did I mention I love this post?
MAJK
Oh Majik, it would be like a retreat where I had to do like 100 pull-ups or something and pee standing up. Yes, men can be sensitive and still be men - they don’t have to be women, thank god, or I’d be screwed, or not screwed, or something along those lines…
He HAD to go? Said who????? How dumb. I swear I have died and gone to purgatory. The world is upside down and catty wampuss. Nothing else explains your hubs being forced to go to sensitivity training. It is crap like this that deservedly gives the woman’s movement a bad name.
I don’t think it was sensitivity training, Roberta, but it was themed. So whoever planned it assumed everyone would find the theme appropriate. I found it weird.
I don’t need no stinking sensitivity training.(brrrrraaapppp) I fuckin have sensitivity up the ass. (and in my pants) >^< Someone come feel my muscle!!!!!!!
Oh gawd, Ray- didn’t mean to send you on a quest! We all know you are a sensitive man. I’m thinking, Brendan Fraser, the most sensitive man in the world.
>^O
I am fact checking this blog dear and the camp class you referenced was titled “Creative Thinking” not “Sensitivity Training”.
Ah yes, that’s right! The chug was Creative Thinking! Good catch, Mr. Muscles!
Uh, did he tell you what conference he was going to?
Already he’s corrected the “Creative Thinking” over “Sensitivity Training,” Julia. Do you think you misunderstood and this conference was “It’s just a bra and skirt-try it on” or maybe “We Got These Things In China and Dare You To Use/Eat Them”???
Next time he goes to a “conference,” send Jake with him…
It was a day-long retreat sponsored by his employer. Don’t know who decided upon the theme. If he organizers had told him to dress like a woman and wear make-up I suppose he would have just gone along… He is a team player. I’ll give him that.
LMAO on this one, surprised he didn’t arrive home wearing a tutu too …….
Hey, I liked the mini rose bush
Big muscles, aye hen I’m sure you like his ‘big muscles’
Yessir I do like big muscles.
I’m totally surprised he didn’t come home wearing a tutu, Tom. That was the only thing missing.l
The theme was “What’s in a name?” and the subtext was “a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet” which is really contrary to the purpose of the whole enterprise which was rebranding our enterprise but I digress. In a roundabout way that is where they came up with the rose as a decorative theme. As far as I can tell my testosterone level has not diminished noticeably since attending.
Hubs- ROTFLMAO. So rebranding your enterprise as Jane Austen? And yeah on the testosterone.
Hilarious. I can’t think of one item I’d be able to use… awesomely bad.
Toby- heheheheheheheh!