Freaky Friday. Well, I don’t know about freaky…

A peek into the mind-ramblings of Julia Barrett~

Julia Barrett hates referring to herself in the third person.

When I die, I will leave my children with these parting words of wisdom: Never try to run fibrous material through your garbage disposal.

Radish greens. Fibrous.

Radish greens. Fibrous.

I would run for president because I’d make a darn good president, but I can’t because I have too many skeletons in my closet. Besides, politics makes me nauseous.

skeletons

Why has Anthony Weiner entered the race for mayor of New York? What is the story behind that boner, uh, I mean bonehead move? Inquiring minds want to know.

Couldn't bring myself to post a photo of Anthony Weiner.

Couldn’t bring myself to post a photo of Anthony Weiner.

Why are the Kardashians famous?

kardashians

Alicia Keyes seems like a nice person. So does Julianne Moore.

She writes poetry too!

She writes poetry too!

Riding a horse is better than the best sex. Not in a sexual way though. In a thoroughly mind-body-spiritually fulfilling way. Yes, my husband and I have discussed this.

horse 2

Water skiing is more fun than snow skiing. I wish I was water skiing right now.

Not me - I have a blue bathing suit. But I do prefer slalom skiing.

Not me - I have a blue bathing suit. But I do prefer slalom skiing.

When an insane motorcyclist zips past me on a winding two-lane road in a no-passing zone and he’s traveling well over the speed limit… like say he’s going maybe 70, 80 mph in a 45 mph zone, and he’s endangering any number of people, I always wonder what I will do if I see him flattened on the pavement. Will I stop and help, or will I just drive on by?

45 mph

My daughter, the one who never wanted to grow up and always made sure we all knew she never wanted to grow up, is having to grow up really fast. Makes me cry weird bitter-sweet tears. Reminds me of Passover. Bitter/Sweet.

tear drop

Do you think it’s really worth it to blog?

Thursdays with Jake- The Miracle.

Those of you who know me best know the main reason I spend time in Montana. A little over a year ago my older daughter married a Montana rancher- and there’s a larger story behind that which will have to wait for another time.

Ranching is, well, it’s a way of life, it’s a religion, it’s a passion, it’s a labor of love and devotion and sacrifice, and it’s also dangerous.

Yesterday our beloved and adored son in law was in an accident. He and our daughter had been on horseback, working cows, for twelve hours. They put up the horses and she headed back to the house in the truck, he headed up to a pasture a mile beyond their house to check on some fences. He took the four-wheeler because the horses were tired, he needed to carry tools and the ‘mule’ is too slow.

He wasn’t doing anything unusual, as in he wasn’t driving in a reckless manner. As he headed up the rutted dirt road, a cow and calf darted in front of him. (Normally cows and calves move away from the four-wheeler so you can pretty much ignore them.) Our son in law tried to brake and he swerved, hit a rut, and the four-wheeler flipped. As he says, he went ass over teakettle.

His guardian angel was watching out for him because he landed in a shallow drainage ditch beside the road with the four-wheeler on top of him. If he hadn’t landed in the drainage ditch he would very likely be dead. He managed to crawl out from under the four-wheeler and reach his cell phone so he could call our daughter. She’s not exactly cool in an emergency… she sort of goes into shock, but she hauled ass down the road. She says he looked pretty bad.

This is a ranch. Eight thousand acres in the middle of nowhere - forty miles from the nearest tiny town. Our daughter didn’t want to move him so she called a friend- twenty miles away- an EMT. He drove like a bat out of hell to get there. He determined our son in law probably did not have a broken neck or a broken back. Between the two of them, they stabilized him and lifted him into the rescue vehicle. My daughter followed them into town to the small hospital where they evaluated him and sent him by ambulance to the closest large hospital.

Thanks to his guardian angel, he suffered nothing worse than a badly broken shoulder, humerus and scapula. He has torn ligaments and muscles pulled away from the bone. A specialist has been called in to perform surgery on Friday, to stabilize his shoulder and repair the torn ligaments and muscles.

My son in law will be fine, he’s pissed off as hell, but he’ll be fine. This is the busiest time of year on the ranch. There are babies to care for, fences to mend before the cattle are moved up into the mountain pastures- which entails a four day cattle drive on horseback- bulls to move after the cows, hay to plant and harvest, in the meantime all the livestock needs feeding. At least they’ve already finished branding, vaccines and castration.

I know everyone, all their neighbors, will pull together and help out- ‘Oscar’, our youngest daughter, (even Jake) and I will head up there whenever they need us, if it’s only to cook and clean and feed and support the riders. I’ll even rake hay… I don’t care. Whatever they need we’ll do.

Life is messy, folks. This could have been so much worse.

From my personal wedding album. The ceremony and reception were held on their ranch, and that’s their truck, not a prop. Yeah, we hauled in a full bar.:

wedding 2

wedding 4

wedding 3

Wicked Wednesday - A Space Opera!

It’s a damn good thing I have a bunch of books out there because I’m getting NO work done. I am, however, getting sick again which pisses the hell outta me.

On the bright side, the second volume of my Space Opera, Daughters Of Persephone- Exile - is free on Amazon for the rest of the week. See here.

DOP_Return_200

A wicked excerpt:

Ennat reached over and closed Karna’s open mouth.

“By a gack’s shit, is that how all you women fly?”

“Of course.” Ennat grinned at him. “You’ve never flown with a Woman of the Blood. You must try it.”

“I’ve heard stories of my gran, but I didn’t believe them. I thought my father was simply telling tales.”

“Your gran?” Ennat’s eyes opened wide. “That was what Kyr meant? She was a pilot?”

“Yes. She flew the route between Calen and Matsu.”

Ennat closed her eyes. “How did I miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Your smell. I should have smelled it. You are of the Blood. Why didn’t I know this?”

Karna laughed. “I should hope I don’t smell like you. You smell far too pretty.”

“Karna, I’m not teasing. Only a Woman of the Blood can fly between Calen and Matsu through the Tionay Nebula. That’s the route she took, isn’t it?”

“So says my da.”

“Let’s test it,” said Ennat. She reached for Karna’s hand. “Fly with me and we’ll see if you’re of the Blood. Let’s take the Glory to the repair station. I’ll pilot.”

“You’ll pilot?”

“Of course. You saw Aja take off in that tiny craft. You watched her flash right above our heads. Exactly who do you think trained with whom? Your brother seems to have no problem with her, with the way we fly.”

Karna considered her words for a moment. He wasn’t so certain his stomach would hold up under those turns. He had no desire to appear less than a man in front of his woman. Davi Fedd had described at length how sick he’d been with Aja at the controls.

“All right, just let me settle—”

“It’s all settled, they’re all settled. They’ll be leaving to gather their troops. Arms shipments won’t arrive until tomorrow. Let’s have a bit of fun together.”

Karna raised an eyebrow. “What we do in my bunk isn’t enough fun for you?”

Ennat laughed. “Oh yes, that is most very fun. But I haven’t flown in weeks and I love it. It’s so thrilling, so exhilarating. Please? Please, Karna, fly with me.”

“Now you sound like a woman begging for a new gown.”

“Hah. As if a gown matters to me. I’d rather be dressed like you. Your weave is far more comfortable than this clothing. I hate formal garb. I find it so restrictive.”

Karna dragged her against him. “Restrictive? I like the way it restricts certain parts of your anatomy. But I must say, I didn’t notice you putting on any undergarments. All I need do is lift up that skirt…”

“Stop trying to distract me.”

“But it’s working, isn’t it?”

Karna stared at her exposed cleavage. He watched as Ennat’s breathing became ragged and she shoved her breasts forward, giving him a more pronounced view.

He led her to his quarters wondering what is this thing that happens between a man and a woman of the Blood? This overwhelming desire, this lust that seems to increase even more once you’ve shared the Blood?

All Karna had to do was look at Ennat in a certain way and he knew he could make her tremble with desire for him. He was certain this warrior woman had never felt this kind of weakness in all her born days. Despite his own weakness where she was concerned, he’d never felt more of a man.

When they reached his cabin, Karna kicked the door shut behind them. His nostrils flared with raw desire.

“I can smell your heat,” he said, blunt as ever. “Gods, it smells like you’re on fire for me.”

Ennat didn’t protest when his big hands lifted her skirt and his palms slid upward along the inside of her thighs. Ennat sagged in his arms.

“Stand up, woman. Don’t you dare fall.”

Ennat began to whimper, and Karna knew he had her. She was trapped by her own desire for him exactly as he’d been caught by her the moment he’d seen her, sword raised, drenched in sweat, eyes on fire when she challenged him to fight her.

“You may be able to best me with a sword or a knife, you may be the better pilot, but woman, you belong to me. Never forget it. And remember…” He laid his lips against her ear. “Always leave off the undergarments.”

“Bloody male chauvinist.”

“Yes I am.” Karna was unrepentant. “And that’s why you love me. You may be able to slice me six ways to Solsday on the battlefield, but…” He pressed his erection against her. “Only I can do this to you.”

The Flexitarian Pantry- Science Fiction Included.

As my husband, ‘Oscar’, says- “You’ve gotta have your head so far up your ass you’re looking out your ear.”

Read this: From the San Francisco Chronicle- Here’s My Plan to Stop Eating Food

Julia says- “No fuckin’ way!”

Now, watch this:

The film, Soylent Green, is based upon the science fiction novel Make Room! Make Room!, written by Harry Harrison.

Shall I continue?

The Flexitarian Pantry - Real Food for Real People who do not have their heads up their asses because if your head is up your ass you surely can’t chew… at least not very well so therefore perhaps you should ‘stop eating’.

Sweeteners:

You may buy into the myth that all sweeteners are created unequal, as in it’s much healthier to cook and bake with honey or maple syrup or coconut sugar or palm sugar or date sugar or any alterna-sugar instead of white sugar.

Well, you would be wrong, more or less. While it’s true that the less processed sweeteners do contain marginally more nutrition- as in a few more anti-oxidants than does plain old white table sugar which basically is just sucrose- for the most part the body metabolizes sweeteners exactly the same. The body does not differentiate. To the body, glucose is glucose is glucose. The body even metabolizes fruit the same- which is why it’s best to eat the whole fruit, not just drink the juice.

Right or wrong, there are a couple of sweeteners I avoid in principle - high fructose corn syrup and plain fructose. Fructose is not good for the liver. Not good. Avoid. (Fruit contains fructose. Fruit also contains fiber, vitamins, minerals, micro-nutrients, anti-oxidants so therefore fruit is good, but plain old fructose me thinks is bad.)

Not only do I use white sugar for baking, I use Superfine Sugar because it makes the best pastries, cakes and cookies. It’s not like I’m stuffing spoonfuls, or spoons full, of sugar into my mouth for god’s sake. All things in moderation!

So here’s what I keep in my pantry-

Superfine Sugar- Best for baking.

Superfine Sugar.

Superfine Sugar.

Confectioners Sugar- Best used for frosting or if you need a sugar which will dissolve almost instantly. It also sticks to warm cookies and fudge, creating a nice sugar coating. It’s nothing more than pulverized white sugar.

Confectioners or Powdered Sugar.

Confectioners or Powdered Sugar.

Brown Sugar- Brown sugar is a mix of sugar and molasses. It remains soft and makes super good cookies!

Brown Sugar.

Brown Sugar.

Raw Unrefined Sugar- Best for sprinkling over cereal, oatmeal, into coffee. We’re talking the same difference folks - there is no difference, nutritionally speaking, between the way the body metabolizes raw unrefined sugar or coconut sugar or palm sugar. You can damn me all you want for that statement but it’s the truth. Raw sugar can be used for baking but it’s a little too grainy for my taste.

Raw Sugar.

Raw Sugar.

My Personal Stash of La Perruche Pure Cane Rough Cut Cubes- Perfect for my coffee!

Rough Cut Brown Sugar Cubes.

Rough Cut Brown Sugar Cubes.

Raw Honey- Here’s my fave~ Branches Black Button Sage Honey. Oh my god! It’s heavenly! Remember, honey is a more concentrated sweetener than sugar. It contains both fructose and sucrose. Any recipe must be adjusted if you substitute honey for sugar. I have a great honey cake recipe from my grandmother, but for the most part our honey gets spread on peanut butter toast, drizzled into tea, and used for coughs.

Black Button Sage Honey.

Black Button Sage Honey.

Maple Syrup- A sweetener which is also in my list of Sauces and Seasonings. I prefer Grade B. The taste is less refined and much more robust than Grade A. I don’t often use maple syrup when baking, instead I use it in cooking and in marinades. That being said, I will use it to sweeten a pecan pie or a custard or pudding.

Maple Syrup.

Maple Syrup.

Secondary Sweeteners:

Molasses- I keep molasses around in case I want to make a pot of baked beans or I feel like including molasses in a marinade, otherwise I don’t much use molasses.

Karo Syrup- This is corn syrup, not high-fructose corn syrup. I use Karo Syrup for two food items and two food items only - pecan pie and my grandmother’s Whiskey Cake. Therefore one bottle of Karo Syrup might sit in my pantry for five years or more.

Golden Syrup- This is a very sweet sugar syrup, mostly fructose. It’s actually a by-product of sugar refining. Golden Syrup is much more commonly used in Britain, which is, in fact, where I bought my can of Golden Syrup. I still haven’t figured out how I want to use it.

I don’t keep them on hand, but there are other Alterna-Sugars: there is palm sugar, date sugar, coconut sugar, agave syrup (somebody gag me with a spoon), brown rice syrup, carob (gag me again).

Sweeteners alone are not food, although they are a part of the food palate - I view them more as flavor/food enhancers. Some people believe sugar to be poison, and it may well be. Certainly when one considers the current obesity epidemic it’s easy to point an accusing finger at sugar. However, I tend to think it’s more the hidden sugars in processed food, and the processed foods themselves, that contribute to obesity, not the judicious use of sweeteners in homemade foods.

***The one caveat - Diabetics have an entirely other set of issues and must find alternatives to natural sweeteners for cooking and baking. It is not my intention to suggest any foods to diabetics- a diabetic diet is between a patient and his or her doctor or diabetic educator.

 

 

 

 

 

A Memorable Memorial Day.

Most of the time we go to the beach, swim, picnic, hike. Today I think we’ll kick back and remember the veterans and their families who have given so much for our sake.

Trident

A worthy cause: The Warrior Dog Foundation

About The Warrior Dog Foundation from their website-

“The Warrior Dog Foundation was established by Mike Ritland who fought as a Navy SEAL in Operation Iraqi Freedom and other deployments.

“Warrior Dog Foundation helps to transition dogs from an operational environment into our state-of-the-art kennel facility. We strive to educate the public on the importance of K-9s in the combat environment, and showcase the level of sacrifice these dogs give in support of our troops. We care for each individual SOF K-9 with dignity and grace, including both mental and physical rehabilitation for the rest of their lives.”

Have a memorable Memorial Day, 'Oscar', Julia and Jake!

Have a memorable Memorial Day, ‘Oscar’, Julia and Jake!