I really like to be the boss of me.
They’ll be no smackin’ me bum without me say-so.
Once upon a time, the cultural directive was this:
Now it’s this:
Take, for example, a single site - Fangs, Wands and Fairy Dust. If the reviews from Fangs, Wands and Fairy Dust can be used as a cultural barometer over time, and I think they can be, Romancelandia has shifted its focus from books about immortal angsty super-powered sparkly vampire males and dysfunctional narcissistic whiny young females with poor self-esteem, to angsty super-rich successful businessmen with a penchant for heaping emotional and physical abuse upon dysfunctional narcissistic whiny young females with poor self-esteem.
Torture, in the name of love, is the new sparkly vampire.
It’s the piss-poor prose I find most painful. Ow! Quit that! Quit hitting me with a horse crop!
Okay, look, every once in a while some of us fantasize about a man/woman who behaves like a Neanderthal. Maybe the old hubster, or partner, will throw us over his/her shoulder and have his/her way with us.
DISCLAIMER - It can’t be just any old man/woman.
As in it can’t be my neighbor. Ewww. Oh that thought is so gross.
The man who cleans my dryer vent, Butch? Yeah, okay, maybe, but dear god not my neighbor. And not the yard guy who maintains the yard (or is it bush) across the street who’s been trying to get in good with me for years. Double ick. Wait a sec while I stick my finger down my throat.
I mean a partner we actually care for, a partner we trust not to hurt us.
With all these BDSM Twilight clones out there I cannot imagine what the real BDSM-ers must be thinking. Like maybe they should form their own nation where they can have a little privacy? Maybe move to that town in Manitoba, Canada, where plots of land are ten bucks each? Like the way all the vampires ran out and bought body glitter when Twilight was released so they could fit in with the other vampires?
What’s that? Vampires aren’t real? You’re joking, right?
This isn’t to say I don’t occasionally include a little titillation in my stories, cuz you know, hubby, who is the model for all my heroes, is so, well… dangerous without being dangerous. Because that’s just how we roll.
Here are some examples, from my books and otherwise:
From my dog-eared copy of Shogun, by James Clavell (cuz I love this passage)~
Kiku-san: “Please excuse me, wouldn’t Choko be a better choice? She’s prettier and younger and sweeter. I’m sure he would enjoy her more.”
Gyoko-san: “Yes, child. But Akiko’s strong and every experienced. When this sort of madness is on men they’re inclined to be rough. Rougher than you’d imagine. Even Omi-san. I don’t want Choko damaged. Akiko likes danger and needs some violence to perform well. She’ll take the sting out of his Beauteous Barb. Run along now, your prettiest kimono and best perfumes…”
From Pushing Her Boundaries, by Julia Rachel Barrett (me)~
“Mace?”
He sat on the couch, fully dressed, elbows resting on his knees, his face in his hands. “Yeah?” He didn’t look up.
“One night. Whatever you want, whatever I want. One night. No obligation. No commitment. No ties and no recriminations. No talk about the future.”
Mace lifted his head. His blue eyes burned into her and she was tempted to run back to the safety of the bedroom. “Is that what you really want, Maggie?”
Stand your ground. “Yes, it’s what I really want.”
With a fluid movement that seemed both lazy and dangerous, Mace rose to his feet. He approached her, nostrils flaring, reminding her of a panther stalking his prey. Maggie put her back to the wall and stopped her legs from trembling. She’d made the offer. Mace stood mere inches from her, just looking, not touching. She knew she could bolt, but she also knew he could stop her with one hand. She tossed her head back and stared at him, challenging him. Take me, I dare you.
Still not touching, Mace placed a hand on the wall on either side of her head. “Anything I want?” His voice sounded low, throaty. “No recriminations?”
“Yes.”
“Then turn around and face the wall.”
You want to read the rest you’ll have to buy the book - the scene is eighteen pages long.
From In the Flesh, by J.R. Barrett (also me)~
Wolf was already out of bed, pulling on the pair of jeans she’d bought him yesterday. Was it just yesterday?
“Men,” he said, “at your back door.”
“Shit.” Sydney jumped up, stark naked, searching the floor for her clothes.
Wolf’s arm slid around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. He nuzzled the top of her head. “You are a lovely sight,” he said. She heard him inhale. His deep laughter vibrated through her entire body. “And you smell like me.” With those words, he swatted her behind.
“Hey.” Surprised, she jumped, but he held onto her.
“Your ass is a thing of beauty, and it’s mine.” His lips brushed the side of her neck before he pushed her away and left the bedroom.
“Neanderthal,” Syd called out after him, a hand on her churning stomach. Damn him. He acts like a cave man and I’m turned on.
She heard his laughter from beyond the open door. She bit back a grin. C’mon, Syd, admit it. You liked that smack and you like him.
Okay all, just having a little fun. But in truth, the site Fangs, Wands and Fairy Dust is a reasonable way to assess trends in popular genre fiction. Meanwhile friend and author Penny Watson, aka Penny Romance, was full of helpful, hilarious suggestions for this post - most of which were way too explicit for the likes of you. Cuz she’s all about 
The BDSM in Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey leaves 50 Shades for dead. For. Dead. Even just reading a few of the reviews can give you an idea - most people will mention the BDSM, and comment on it’s severity, and quite a few will even warn away others who might be averse to it. For me, though, it was a mere detail in the story, since it was applied only at the appropriate times and to the appropriate degree.
One time, at BDSM school, the Dom said…”Penny! Assume the position!” and I said “Are you talking to me?” and he screamed “Silence!” and I was all “ARE you talking to me?” and he was all…
Oh, never mind. I would fail out of BDSM school within five minutes.
There’s a world of difference between “domineering” and “dom.”
I love a domineering, masterful, intelligent and heroic man.
But I also like being the boss of me.
I don’t mind that some folks love BDSM in their books, but does EVERY SINGLE EROTICA BEING PUBLISHED HAVE TO HAVE IT? Seriously?
Anyhow, I’ll take my regular old even-distribution-of-power relationship…
Are those SPARKLES on those hand-cuffs? SPARKLES!
Cuff me!
My one take away from this post is that Manitoba has cheap land. How big a plot does one get for $10.00? Or were you just teasing?
Ciara - Kushiel’s Dart came out way before this explosion of BDSM. It’s great. It’s a realistic and moving story - and well-crafted. You should read Nobelsword by Katalina Leon. Came out in… ’09 maybe? The first half of the book will blow you away.
It’s not the BDSM in itself I find annoying, it’s the jump on the bandwagon aspect of the genre I find annoying. Clones. Now, give me a well-written, realistic relationship and a fantastic tale and I’m on it!
Yeah, Pens, sparkly! You’re trust is so easily bought! You so like being the boss of you! It’s why we get along so well!
Oh yeah, Brian. Ten bucks a lot. It’s up near the North Dakota border. The township hopes to increase their population and they’ll even take us Yanks! Buy some property. Learn to say ‘eh’ and ‘serviette’ and ‘aboat’.
*Laughs out loud AND fans herself*
Great post, Julia, and great scenes. I remember that one from Pushing Her Boundaries fondly…and the eighteen smokin’ hot pages that follow!
I am now off to flog myself for letting In The Flesh languish in my TBR pile. Because apparently that BDSM stuff’s all the rage now and I’m hip to be square. *gigglesnorts at the thought*
Oh Tracy… Walk don’t run! I can’t believe you remember that scene? I’m so flattered! Maybe we can find you a square pair of cuffs…
Nah I don’t think so..I think you would be smacking everyone around..As for the BDSM world reaction..It is split…Most are not happy…
Savannah - LOL! I probably would be smacking everyone around! I would really love to read a post (yours) about the issue. I’ve read some great legit books, but so much of what’s out there is crappola.
The best scene I’ve ever read (shibari bondage) was written by a man. It was EXCELLENT. Most of the crap on the “jump on the bandwagon” is just that-crap.
So sad. I’ve finished my hand-cuff/piercing/dom stage and moved to other things of interest…
Anny - Book and title please! I’m really interested. Now, what’s this about no more piercings???
I really find BDSM fascinating, titillating. I’ve been married a long. time…. I’m too bossy everywhere to ever be a submissive and I already have enough pain to be turned on by it. But, I want to understand it. I want to understand this orientation (and did before 50 Shades). Some BDSM practitioners give themselves wholly to their sexuality, and some give themselves wholly to their partner. I wonder what it would feel like to be that into someone and want their approval that much.
I read some stats that had about 20% of the population being into BDSM to some degree. That makes it more prevalent than Celiac disease!
S
Penny that is hillarious. I don’t think EVERY piece of erotica has it but it does seem to be coming out of the woodwork. It’s the Harry Potter/Twilight effect. Everyone wants to be the next JK Rowling, Stephenie Meyers or EL James. I imagine pecking away at a keyboard for years without making a substantial sou is frustrating and then something NOT so well written comes out and there’s a paper shortage in publishing it, well, I guess that would make many writers think, “Okay, they want BDSM, I’ll give them BDSM!”
Julia, I have always been a harbinger of public opinion starting when I was 14 and came home with tie up the leg espadrilles. Want to know what’s going to be hot, drop by. In any case you sent me Noblesword even before Fifty hits the shelves. So, maybe you’re ahead of the curve.
Steph, you are like the Gallup Poll of genre fiction. You consistently reflect trends in the changing market. Regarding Nobelsword, I think Kat was ahead of the curve!
I don’t think I’ve read any books containing BDSM but I’m thinking I may have been participating without knowing…
Some times when I try for a bit of rumpy , Ishbel slaps me, and because I liked that a little I try again and get another slap, is that BDSM?
Who knows, Tom? Ask Ish to tie you up and see what happens…