OMFG! It’s a good thing I have a lot of hair (Penny) or I would lose it (Penny).
Which shall I choose?
God never closes a door but he opens a window?
When life gives you lemons make lemonade?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Shit happens?
I think I’ll go with simple and elegant- shit happens. And you deal with it. You can’t run from it, you can’t hide from it, you just fucking deal with it.
I’m currently on a leave of absence from Hospice but I worked with Hospice patients for twelve years. Before that, with a few breaks between becoming a nurse and Hospice, I worked ICCU and CCU. Major shit happens and you deal.
Who said life is fair? Nobody. Life is inherently unfair. Once you get that through your head the weight lifts from your shoulders. I swear it’s true. It’s only when you abandon the quest for fair that you are open to joy.
When I was a kid, my dad, who is big into justice, taught us we should always fight injustice, that it was our job to make the world a better place. I love my dad, you know that, but he drilled the obligation into us. It’s sort of a Jewish thing, you know, our task as the chosen people in case you never knew what that designation meant. Our assigned task is to mend the primordial broken vessel.
This is ancient - practically in our genes after so many centuries. It’s a mystical concept - in the beginning there was perfection, ONE PERFECT THING (God) THAT ENCOMPASSED ALL- everything in existence, or as the Aborigines of Australia describe it- the all at once time. But then the vessel shattered, (kind of like the Jewish version of The Big Bang Theory), and thus we are left with a shattered vessel, an imperfect world.
This was a heavy burden to lay on children. My two sisters didn’t hold up well. I’m tough, but I carried that notion into adulthood, feeling responsible for every single awful thing that happened in this world. And then one day I shut it all down - erected some barricades, protected myself - I decided I couldn’t fix the world, the best I could do was fix me and if I fixed me I could raise conscious children and hope they would raise conscious children. One person cannot save the world. One person can only do the best he or she can.
At the very least I hope my children will leave the world no worse than they found it. Hey, I’ve worked my ass off to try to ensure that.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have the support of my friends right now. And how humbled I am by the fact that our son in law survived his accident. Now that his surgery is over and his difficult recovery is beginning, we’re realizing the full extent of his injuries and, as my husband says, “His life was saved by divine intervention.”
Vessels get broken. Sometimes we puny humans manage to glue, tape, nail, screw them back together again.
Speaking of joy, my daughter has hooked me on all the TLC wedding dress shows- Say Yes to the Dress and I Found the Gown. Can’t look away, I swear. Even my husband was transfixed last night. We stayed up so late watching brides try on wedding dresses- had to pry ourselves away from the television. And to think, just two days ago I was busy proclaiming my hatred for reality TV.
Face plant! But how can anyone resist? (Ray) Look:
Oh no Julia! I will not look! It will not fuckin happen! My wife didn’t even wear a Wedding at our wedding! You cannot make me watch it….No……No…..No. :p
Bwaaaaaa-haaaaaa! Evil laugh, Ray. Evil laugh!
Nahnahnahnahnahblubblubblubbeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….I can’t hear you……..nummnummbbbnummmmbb!!!!!!! >^<
I’m glad surgery is over and things are looking up for your son in law. Your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs
After surgery there is still a long row to hoe. And countless things to scare one; another shoe to drop.
I guess I am saying that I am so happy for you and your family that he is okay, but I know those feelings of “what if” that linger behind smiles of relief.
Thank heavens he will be okay. And those feelings that linger are just feelings.
I gotta go plant a billion Dahlia bulbs. Ugh.
And just say NO to reality TV!!!!
Oooh! Poor sil. I’m glad he wasn’t hurt worse and I hope he’s home soon!
Mom made my wedding dress so thank gods, I didn’t have to go through the “wedding dress run”. We just had to decide on patterns and materials.
I still have my hair! Things got slightly more insanely stressful at our house, and then I started letting things go. (Not my hair). And I went for a big long powerwalk and listened to Taylor Swift and now I feel much better.
In with the good air, out with the bad air!!!!!!!!
Love you and rooting for your family. We can do this!
Your description of the vessel being shattered, (kind of like the Jewish version of The Big Bang Theory), is a perfect explanation of how we are left with an imperfect world.
I have every confidence that your son-in-law will heal and be strong again. I agree that he was saved by Divine Intervention, but in addition to that, he’s married to your daughter, and surely she has inherited much strength from her mother.
You’re right; no one can change the world, but each person can make a difference that changes others and so on. And you’ve made a profound difference on many levels, Julia.
The healing process will be tough. He’s a cowboy and they don’t do idle well. Tell your daughter I send my sympathies, having been in her shoes numerous times.
All kidding aside, I’m so glad his injuries aren’t worse.
I’m thinking of you, Ms Julia. Keep us posted. Hugs,
Thanks, Sandra!
Oh Stephanie, that’s going to be the worst part. He will not do idle well. It is only the drainage ditch that saved his head - the thing fell on his head, chest and shoulders - only his left shoulder was crushed. Amazing.
I think it is an apt description, Marylin. One day I’ll give you my explanation of the Garden of Eden story! This particular daughter is tough, but she’s emotional and sentimental. My youngest is a clone of me. She seems delicate but she’s tough as nails.
Regarding the state of the world, yes, we just have to do the right thing and if that influences other people all the better.
Sounds like you made some good decisions, Penny! I’m glad your hair won’t fall out… Yes, a walk helps lots!
Thanks, Juli. I love the idea of a homemade wedding dress. Sounds lovely!
A billion dahlia bulbs, eh Steph? Good luck with that! Yes, he’ll be okay but yeah, long road. Hey, watched the dress show again last night! It’s incredibly addictive! Like you watch it one day and you’re addictive.
Thanks, Amber. Likewise.
Oh Ray… seriously I watched a couple shows and got addicted. Not fair! I don’t want to be addicted.
Then you might like ‘Project Runway”! My wife loves that show and she’s NOT a reality TV buff! Good luck with your addiction but I’m not goin there Julia! I’m already a major TV addict as it is and I have no room for RTTV!
I’m with Ray, don’t do reality TV so stick it where the sun don’t shine Missy
Yeah, you and I both know that shit happens, but as long as we support our family ( with some exceptions) and friends, we’ll come through the other end looking ok, I hope
Stay strong sweety and don’t forget the rounds for the shotgun if you go to Montana
Oh gosh!
My thoughts are with you and your family Julia. *HUGS x infinity*
Thanks, AD. I’m sure you’ve seen trauma in your practice.
You’d be so proud of me, Tom. I still have my sharpshooting medals from when I was on the riflery (sic) team. Gold. Not real gold, but gold plated. Ye olde bullseye. I’m such a nice Jewish girl!
Yes, we have our families, or some of our families!
YOU’RE A GOLD MEDAL SHARPSHOOTER! (((O))^((O))) I take back every snarky thing I’ve ever said Julia but I’m still not watchin no damn show about wedding dresses! And I mean that in a very respectful tone of voice.
No internet for hours… Honey, every single survival is a miracle-even the near misses! Recovery is a bitch. I don’t know any men who do sick/hurt/recovery well. In self-defense I taught mine to crochet. We have about 30 king sized blankets. That was an excellent explanation of the BEGINNING! Pack wisely, travel safely, be careful while you’re helping out in Montana! <3
Oh Julia, sorry to hear about your son-in-law’s accident. Glad he’s on the mend. And yes, totally get you dropping out of the hospice scene. There are only so many hours and so much energy. You’ve had your hands full for the last while. Surprised it took you this long to say enough. Take care of yourself. Hugs.