It’s something we don’t really talk about because we all like to be nicey-nice but his words resonated with me, probably because I am guilty of being nicey nice.
Hugh Howey’s Top 10 List of Counterintuitive Tips for Self-Publishers.
His tips are right on… nothing counterintuitive about them from my perspective. Mr. Howey makes perfect sense. The only one I can disregard is Number 6 because I ain’t got no agent.
However Number 10 hit a nerve:
10. Authors are not in competition with one another. We are in this together. A happy reader buys more books, so celebrate others doing well and help who you can. Remember those who helped you. Pass it along.
I’m a big nobody. I’m serious when I say that- not on the NYT Bestseller List. Not on the Amazon Bestseller List. Not on anyone’s Bestseller List. I am small potatoes. Yet new authors approach me, have approached me, and I’ve helped. I’m generous with my time, my knowledge, my experience, my site… I’ve always been happy to help out. But I’ve noticed something, while some authors seem to understand we’re in this together, we can support each other, we can even be friends (and I’ve made some fantastic friends), others have used me as a stepping stone, asked me to help with promotion, proofreading, contacts, advice, and once they got the contract they coveted, dumped me like a hot small potato. In fact, a few people could not dump me fast enough because I quickly became too small for them.
I’m just gonna say it- That kind of behavior pisses the hell outta me, which is why I’ve begun turning down requests for the use of my blog for promotion, requests for book reviews, proofreading… by authors I don’t know or don’t know well.
Hey, it is so gratifying to help peeps, and I hope you know who you are. You are so very dear to me and I’m grateful for every word of help and support and advice you’ve generously provided over the years. You are always welcome to my space and time.
But man, it feels lousy to be used.
I don’t understand the need for authors to feel they’re competing. I love supporting other writer’s and sharing their works with other readers.
Nothing that involved humans…….people, surprises or shocks me any more. It is human nature. And human nature is not always nice.
Without going into personal specifics, ‘nough said.
Also just look at your need to have “Captcha” on your blog comments now.
I’ve always appreciated the time other authors have given me. The romance community is especially helpful and generous. I try to pay it forward as much as I can but there are always folks who use others as doormats (sad, but true).
Me too, Casey. I think we are a nice group as a whole. And it’s not really the romance community- at one time, yes, but nowadays it’s any author in any genre asking for a handout. That’s social media for you!
I know, Roberta. Had to add more security as I got hacked last week and someone or something was using my site to send out spam. My webhost threatened to shut me down if I didn’t fix the problem.
Amber, you are the most generous person I know. You always share your site and help promote other authors. I love that about you.
Back in the stone ages when I began I was shocked by how self-centered writers could be. Then I noticed how self-centered I could be, and realized that maybe it is part of the whole writing thing. It takes so much mental and emotional energy to create that sometimes there is just nothing left for others. That said, self-centeredness is something to be aware of and to overcome.
On a related note, writers seriously need to ditch the sense of entitlement. Sales, readers, fans, awards, contracts-whatever it is they are striving for, it has to be earned. There are no shortcuts, no easy paths, no magic elixers or secret handshakes. If you want attention, do something worthy of attention. This wishing for instant (unearned) success is nothing new, but social media has made it painfully obvious and pervasive. Writing is not (never has been) a get-rich-quick scheme. I’m truly offended whenever I run into anyone who thinks it is.
Might be, Jaye. Writers are notoriously self-absorbed. However what I’ve found is newbies, maybe they have a good concept, maybe even some basic skills. I get asked for help. I help. Some people are appreciative, some are users- Life is like this. What I’m doing now is protecting my time and my space. I’m giving myself permission to value my time and my space. When I get a big request out of the blue from someone I’ve had no previous contact with I say… So sorry, I am no longer reading and reviewing ARCs or I am no longer lending my site to authors I don’t know or I don’t have any contact information to give you.
And yes, you’ve nailed it. Social Media is the driving factor.
I am never bothered by an author or a newbie asking legitimate questions or making reasonable requests. I will always respond. What I will no longer do is provide my time and my blog to people who don’t care a thing about me or my readers, they simply want my space for promotion. It doesn’t matter to them who or what I am… any space will do.
I’m thinking of one person in particular… no, you don’t know him… to whom I provided a great deal of help. Loads of help. I spent a lot of time assisting him when he was just starting out- editing, proofreading, cover suggestions, contact information- lots of how-to kind of stuff. He did get a big contract. Good for him. The instant he got a big contract I ceased to exist for him. I’ve run into a few people like that.
Geezy…so sorry to hear that. Hate hackers!
Probably Russia, Roberta.
True, true, true… my stuff is bigger/better/fancier/blah, blah, blah than yours… phft! And the social media thingy reminds me of high school girl cliques…
Oh how true, Anny.
I believe in karma. I also don’t like being a chump. If I find myself giving time, energy, and support to someone who throws me under a bus, dings me, stabs me in the back, the goodwill dries up and that bridge is burned.
Karma is a bitch.
I’m with Penny on this. I unfortunately have experience being friend-dumped as soon as I was no longer of use to someone - they didn’t need me to write submission packages for them any more, maybe I was too ‘small’ for them, maybe they saw me as a threat as my own career developed? Who knows? But yeah. Karma in the sense of “They’ll eventually be exposed.”
There comes a point where you have to say no to people, because books don’t write themselves and we have other things in life to take care of. If we give, give, give to other writers, that could be to the detriment of our own careers.
As pleasant as it is to say “We’re all in this together,” the facts don’t bear it out. Some people treat you as a stepping stone. And stepping stones get walked over.
PS: @Jaye - TOTALLY with you on the need for writers to earn their successes. Couldn’t have put it better myself, during one of my frequent “Don’t beg for followers; EARN them!” rants on Twitter.
Karma is a bitch, isn’t it, Penny? A chump is a good way to describe those of us who allow ourselves to be used- repeatedly!
Hey Scarlett - love your statement. Sounds like you’ve had some of the same experiences I’ve had. Definitely does not feel good and you get mad at yourself for being such a chump, as Penny says.