I invited author Penny Watson over for a visit to discuss the wrong way to perform…
The Never-Ending BJ
Once upon a time, I was minding my own business-and reading an erotica book—and I started reading a “BJ” scene. (“BJ” a.k.a. oral sex, blow job, Barry Johnson, lip dance, knock the dust off the old sombrero, have lunch downtown, etc…you get the idea.)*
Started off well enough, and then it kept going…and going…and going….and 16 pages later I thought….
Good grief! Just come already!
Yes, it was the Never-Ending BJ. Which is probably superb for a man in real life, but is hideously bad in an erotica novel.
“Why?” you ask. “Why, oh why, Miss Penelope, is a Never-Ending BJ Scene bad?”
One word.
Boring.
Erotica writers want their love scenes to be sensual, satisfying, emotional, intense, and very, very sexy.
Boring….not so much.
When a sex scene goes on and on and on for 42 pages, it’s like watching one of those porno movies where your eyes glaze over and you start thinking about what you’re going to have for lunch. A grilled veggie sandwich or a cup of soup? Because frankly, too much graphic sex loses its “sexiness” after a while.
A good sex scene needs to be the appropriate length (yes, I’m thinking of a naughty “length” joke, and no, I’m not going to say it. Not. Going. To. Say. It.) If it’s too short, it’s not enough for an erotica reader. And if it’s too long, it screws up the pacing of the narrative. It needs to be…just right, Goldilocks!
A good sex scene needs to be integrated into the story and make sense. If it’s just thrown in there for no good reason, it’s jarring to the reader. A gratuitous sex scene that has no meaning for the story or the character arcs is basically porn.
A good sex scene should move the story forward and give some insight about the characters and their relationship. Sexual intimacy should progress naturally in the story. You can’t have the characters kiss for the first time in one chapter, and then get out the whips and chains in the next chapter. Too fast!
A good sex scene should include sensual details, but not too much graphic, clinical information. In other words, how are the characters feeling? What do they smell, taste, touch? Most importantly…what are their emotions during the scene? How do they feel about their partner?
Hot erotica scenes do NOT need to use the words “cock” and “pussy” to be edgy or sexy. Sometimes the sexiest love scenes don’t use any terms for the genitals at all. Think about the level of graphic detail you’re using. Is it necessary? Is it making the scene more sexy, or detracting from it? If the scene is reading like a medical textbook description of reproduction, it ain’t working.
Think about the language you’re using. Labia, scrotum, clitoris, perineum, anus? If you’re over-using terms that sound clinical, your sex scene has just lost its sexiness. Use them sparingly. Also, if you use the word “cock” 20 times in one paragraph, it will lose its effectiveness. And make your hero sound like a poultry farmer.
Don’t forget dialogue! Just because your characters are getting down and dirty does not mean they have to clam up. Dialogue can be a wonderful addition to a love scene…dirty talk can add a real sexy quotient, sweet talk can up the emotional ante.
Best way to judge your love scenes? Check with some beta readers….do the sexy times make your readers tingle and sweat? Or did they snooze and skip to the next section of the book? You want your sex scenes to hook folks just as much as the rest of the story, enhance the narrative, show how the connection between the H/h is growing.
Writing a successful love scene is one of the most challenging aspects of writing romance/erotica. Don’t describe the scene as an objective observer. Part A goes into Part B, which rubs on Part C. Really get into your characters’ heads (no…not that head….cripes!…the other head!) How is he/she feeling, responding, reacting…is he/she scared, excited, nervous, touched, aroused?
Be the character. Live the character. Experience the character. (I’m sweating.)
Remember…there can be too much of a good thing. If your sex scenes are 46 pages long, it’s time for some massive editing.
Massive. Huge. Gigantic. Rock-hard. Editing.
(I’m sweating again.)
All things in moderation.
(Except martinis.)
Hoping I never snooze off again while reading an erotica book,
* Various and assorted expressions for oral sex from The Big Book Of Filth by Jonathan Green
***Note from Julia: I looked for an appropriate image, I really did, but I couldn’t find anything, um, right for the job.
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“Yes, it was the Never-Ending BJ. Which is probably superb for a man in real life…”- uh, not really.
LOL OMG I get bored writing a BJ scene that long. I’d start thinking about my to-do list and geez, anything else.
hahah. I love that one, knock the dust off the old sombrero. I totally agree, I’ve read books like that and I end up skipping the pages. I find it interesting you point out that you don’t have to use cock and pussy to make the scene erotic. I used to think that was a must, but after using those words so much, I know they’re not a requirement. Great post ladies.
As a newbie fan of erotica, I’m with the writer. It must be tasteful and poignant. Too many writers today are thinking, “Just write trashy smut and post it online,” as a sure-fire way to quitting their day jobs (kind of like the all-things-teen-vampire craze after a certain author made a certain huge amount of money off a certain series).
People fail to realize that EVEN IN PORN THEY TRY TO MAKE IT HAVE A PLOT. Admittedly, some porn has a tremendously stupid plot. But it was there.
Thanks for bringing this to light!
THANK YOU!! I confess I am not really an erotica reader. But since I know a few erotica writers, I thought I’d give the genre a try, and I must confess so far I was disappointed. One of them didn’t even have a story so far as I could tell - it was, as you say, just porn, and I’m glad you agree! It inspires me to give the genre another go in hopes I might find a better example.
I also don’t write erotica, but I did recently write a sex scene for my epic fantasy. I subscribe to all the principles you’ve mentioned here in writing that scene, and I always thought the same rules should apply in an erotica novel, so I’m pleased to know I wasn’t being unreasonable in that belief.
In fact, having just perused the blurbs for Julia’s books, perhaps I’ll try hers! Starting with that sci-fi one… I do like a bit of sci-fi.
Two things spring to mind here:
1. If it is taking her that long to ‘dust of the old sombrero’ [priceless] is she not terribly good at it?
2. Or, has he just got that much self control that once he starts on her she is going to be rogered to the point of death!
But, if I was reading this book, I would most likely have started looking for ticks on the dog rather than continue
just saying xxxx
Haaaaaaa! Tom has a good point. Why the hell is it taking so damned long? Seriously?
Hee hee heeeee!
Thanks for inviting me over, Julia. I think it’s just as well you passed on an image for this post.
oo funny. Once someone on Twitter mentioned overhearing a woman on the Tube say (London Subway) saying that she “wanted to wrap herself around his cock like a blanket.” I remarked that where I lived if I heard someone say that in public about a cock and a blanket I would assume they had a rooster with a cold.
And, Tom, is there such a thing?
That is one long scene. I would get bored, too. I’ve read some erotic romance, and probably one out of five I’ll read all the way through. The scenes are repetitive and boring at times.
42 pages of BJ? My jaw aches just hearing about it. : )
XXOO Kat
I stopped reading a certain NY Times author because her books devolved into page after page after page of sex. It got to the point where I was flipping looking for anything that didn’t involve sex. It’s too bad when writer’s take things too the extreme like that. I would get so bored just writing a scene that long, not to mention - what is wrong with this guy? Or maybe she needed to learn better technique or something - geesh!
Oh! I just thought of a good comic book for this….The Bionic BJ.
Well, one would need a bionic jaw for the never-ending BJ, Penny!
Casey - I’ve done the same thing. Can’t remember the name of the author but she actually wrote a good story beneath all the sex, so I skipped all the sex to get to the story. Shoulda left out the sex altogether!
Oh Kat…. ROTFMAO! Mine too!
True, Ciara. Some writers can really ‘nail’ a sex scene. Some it’s like reading a boring nursing textbook. In fact my nursing textbooks were less boring.
Hilarious, Steph! I don’t think I am brave enough to say the word ‘cock’ in public, even when referring to a rooster.
I’m so glad you came, Penny - Tom has a very good point. My husband says a few minutes is cool, more than that is a waste of time.
Tom - heheheheheheheheheheheh! I’ll take the ticks.
Oh Ciara, start with the sci fi. It won an award. It’s my very favorite book.
Hi Lorca! I agree. Even porn needs a plot, no matter how stupid. Well-written erotica, IMO, leaves some things to the imagination.
Yes, Delilah, it’s like… just do it already. Sheesh! Drives me nuts!
Amber - LOL! Yes, I’d be putting together my grocery list.
Thanks for the male take on this, Yoshi. Always appreciate your comments.
We must make the BJ end…Make it hot and sexy, just enough to do the job.
Well, as an erotic romance author…I can tell you the part of the cock vs. penis bit is to meet the specific guidelines of the publishers. If there is not enough “specific” language, the publisher returns the book with a “not enough sex” flag on it. I’ve had stories where the final line editor went through and slashed every reference that wasn’t specific enough.
At that point, the author can try somewhere else or find another job. Remember, self publishing has not always been an option. Most of the established e-pubs have stringent requirements.
As for length of scenes or frequency of sex scenes, again, that is usually to meet some nebulous house guideline requirements. It’s only in the last year or so that publishers are loosening up a bit due to the competition from self-publishing authors. I must say as an author, a scene that long would require a great deal of ingenuity and creativity unless there was a lot of repetition. I’m not much for repetition…
When my last book was contracted at Siren, I was informed that I should “try” to use more “adult” language in my next book.
Yes, it’s true Anny, although I do think some pubs are relaxing their standards - or at least offering more variety.
Done - just bought Captured!
Ciara - totally cool! Thanks!
Anny….I like the idea of a “NOT ENOUGH SEX” flag for everyday use. Just imagine. You could put a flag on your husband. You could put a flag on the movie Magic Mike. You put a flag on your TV while watching sitcoms. You could put a flag on your neighbor’s front door. Hmmm. The “NOT ENOUGH SEX” flag could be super fun.
Penny, can you patent those? I’d get in line to buy them!
I’m afraid the “Not Enough Sex” flag wouldn’t get much use at my house. The hunk takes care of his duties just fine…
Anny -
Anny…..you need a new flag for him. “Just Right”!!! ;^)