So this yellow jacket flies into a bar…
A new breed of yellow jacket.
Oh I wish it was a joke!
But yeah, this yellow jacket flies up to me and hovers right in front of me and he tilts his head and gives me the beady eye and he just hovers there, kind of studying me and he says… “Don’t I know you? I swear we’ve met before.”
And I’m like…. don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact, back away slowly, just back away…
And he flies a little closer and he’s like… “No, you look so familiar. I swear I know you.”
And I’m like… “Yeah, in your species-specific genetic memory wet dreams.”
He hovers there a little while longer and then he shrugs and flies off like it’s no big thing.
And I’m like… ”Huh?”
Of course he remembers me! He’s directly descended from last year’s queen,who like the queen in Aliens, birthed an entire generation of yellow jackets that spent all last summer and fall trying to kill me!
And I yelled after him… ”Get back here, ya damn pot-smokin’ guitar-playin’ peace-loving kale juice-swillin’ hippie yellow jacket!”
It was a test, you see.
But he never looked back.
This is a new generation, man. A less aggressive friendlier generation of yellow jackets. Real friendly-like.
Earlier in the summer it was suggested to me by someone whose opinion I value that perhaps I should not scream and run in a herky-jerky zig-zag fashion every time I see a yellow jacket. That perhaps my reaction was causing them to actually pay attention to me.
So I’ve changed my methods.
I’m dressing in forest colors- light browns, tans and greens.
I highlighted my hair as dark colors seem to irritate them.
I never ever put on any kind of lotion or even use deodorant before I go out for a hike. Yeah, hubs is real keen on that one but the dog doesn’t seem to mind.
I walk slow and steady when I see them- and I never ever make eye contact.
So lets hope I can make it through this season without another series of stings- I am not doing that again!
Oh, anybody else hear that cucumbers repel yellow jackets? Apparently they hate the scent of cucumbers. Now I gotta find me some cucumber lotion!
Dressing in forest colors……I like. I hear it is the latest hip outfit in Syria.
As for the yellow jackets, looks like you are ready.
If worse come to worse, you can move in with me for a few weeks.
LOVE the hippie dog. Kool Man.
Caswell Massey and some other chi chi lotion line used to have cuke lotions.
Thayers makes a cuke/witchazel probably available for less elsewhere: http://www.smallflower.com/thayers/cucumber-witch-hazel-12oz-liquid-29432
This suggests leaving them in the area you are http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Yellow-Jacket-Wasps-Away
And there’s no reason you can’t just rub your skin with a cut cucumber. It’s good for your skin. If you did a thick pealing you wouldn’t even be causing much food waste.
I’ve been doing that, Steph, rubbing cucumber peels on my skin! Thanks for the suggestions.
Yes, Roberta - camo chic! Stinkin’ yellow jackets! I do have a bee suit in storage- face mask and all.
And never go to Japan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_giant_hornet
Tis true that yellow jackets are sensitive to the smell of adrenaline. It excites them when you’re afraid. So your new attitude may help more than you think. Gah, yellow jackets. Nasty things.
Very cute. Here on Vancouver Island,it’s wasp country. We have an incredible view of Discovery Passage, see the ships float by on their way to Alaska, but when we eat outdoors, those yellow jacketed guys come and visit. Not a ton, but enough to have your arms waving in the air from time to time trying to scare them away. Hubby says to leave them alone and they won’t bother you. Well, one drowned in his soup today. Ha. Actually, it was my soup and I asked him to trade. Yeah, hope you make it through without getting stung.
I’m glad you gave him the yellow jacket soup, Diana. Mmmmmmm… protein! Actually I do leave them alone and they still sting me, especially this time of year! They get very aggressive in the late summer, and stay aggressive until they die.
One more thing to worry about, Jaye!
Not going to Japan anytime soon.
I’m not fond of them, Diana. Hope your husband enjoyed the soup!
Commie prevert yellow-jackets? They probably all went to Woodstock.
Love the new wardrobe, Julia. You and hubster will blend right in.
Tim, I suspect they’ve been Weinerized. My husband’s been threatening to build a Weinerizer! Thanks - we look exactly like the icky neighbors!
You are too funny.
Whoever was truckin’ down gator alley……I think I’d find another road to walk on.
Me too, Sandra!
I’d say you’re ready for them!
Hopefully you won’t get stung.
Put cucumber slices over your eyes for a while before you go out. Two-fer…non-puffy eyes AND yellow-jacket repellent…
Now I’m worried I need a Gilly suit and cucumber lotion too. I hope you have no problems with those guys this season.
Are you allergic, Kat? I hope not! Fortunately we have fewer yellow jackets in our area this year.
Good idea, Anny!
Yes, fingers crossed, Amber!
To bee or not to bee. Very comic post, Julia, love the photos!
Thanks for stopping by, Diana. You see, I have this deadly yellow jacket allergy. Can’t bee desensitized because the serum almost killed me as well. So I keep an epipen in my pocket at all times during yellow jacket season. Last summer was awful. This summer not so much.
I was thinking of the chopstick scene from the original KARATE KID (with Ralph Macchio). When a yellow jacket stares you down, you could catch him with your chopsticks, and drown him in a glass of beer!
I could try, Marylin. I seriously don’t believe anyone can catch a fly- at least a fly in good health- with chopsticks!
Bad trip dude! (((O))^((O)))
Totally, Ray. Although I hope it keeps up…